


I'll Take Your Hand

by seekingoutfriday



Series: I'll Take Your Hand [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Drama, F/F, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-31
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-11-02 19:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekingoutfriday/pseuds/seekingoutfriday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn never understood her feelings, why she could never keep a guy or why she was just different. Follow her summer and senior year as Quinn learns who she truly is and how Rachel Berry fits into that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. This is my very first fanfiction. Reviews are very greatly appreciated because I need to know what I can improve on!  
> 2\. Spoilers: Everything in season 1 and 2 is legit. As much as I love Pink!Quinn, I don't want to include the rest of season 3 storylines. Some things might still pop up, though. Like NYADA. So it's all fair game.  
> 3\. Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the music. If I did, the storylines would have continuity and Rachel would be awesome and not Finn-obsessed. I do not own Keep Holding On. That belongs to a one Avril Lavigne.  
> 4\. Follow me at seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com, seekingoutfri.livejournal.com, or http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2838998/seekingoutfriday  
> 5\. Enjoy!

**_Story begins right after Nationals  
  
_ **

_"I don't care about some stupid show choir competition!"_

_Long brunette hair flashed in her vision along with chocolate eyes._

_"Why can't our dreams come true?"_

_Long pale legs intertwined with tan skin. Pale, manicured fingers trailed up darker arms, rubbing circles along the way. Red lips smiled against the tan, bare shoulder and chuckled._

_"She has love, Tina has it, even Zizes hooks up."_

_The light-skinned hand reached up to her own face, pulling hair out of her eyes. Hazel eyes bore into chocolate ones._

_"I just want somebody to love me..."_

_She could hear a voice coming from the darker skinned person. Only a voice. The blonde searched for where the voice was coming from, but couldn't see any lips. The face was blurred, and the body was not exactly in focus. She continued to tangle their somehow-there limbs and hazel eyes searched brown. The voice whispered again, and the blonde could feel a shiver run down her whole body._

_"Keep holding on, you know we'll make it through..."_

_Her lips sought for the brunette's lips, but couldn't find them. She sat up in the bed and the darker skinned girl seemingly disappeared, but an echo still whispered._

_"Just stay strong, you know I'm here for you..."_

Quinn jerked awake, her elbow slipping from the arm rest. Mercedes, who sat in the seat next to her, shot her a glance. Quinn rubbed her sleepy eyes as she tried to focus on what just happened in her dream. It was not the first time a dream like this had occurred; it started about freshman year. Always Quinn with _someone_ but never knew who. Quinn stole a glance at Mercedes who was still watching her.

"What?"Quinn snapped.

Mercedes quirked her eyebrow.

"You tell me. You were moaning in your sleep and now your hands are shaking," Mercedes explained. "If I didn't know better, I would say you were having a sex dream. But that would not do for miss chastity here. Are you scared of flying, Quinn?"

Quinn looked down at her hands which were indeed shaking. _Jeez, I am_ so _getting worked up over nothing. It's just a_ stupid _dream._ She looked past Mercedes and outside the small window of the airplane and watched building get larger and larger in her sight. The airport was right below them.

"How long was I asleep for?"

"About an hour. It's ok, you got to miss out on the Finn and Rachel romance," the sassy diva said. "It's been gag-worthy. If Rachel keeps willingly throwing competitions away for Hudson and kisses, maybe I'll finally get some solos."

Quinn felt a stab in her heart as Mercedes explained about the rekindling romance. Quinn turned around and looked back two rows behind them on the plane and there was Rachel resting her head on Finn's shoulder. Quinn wrung her hands together and slammed her eyes shut. _I am over Finn. It was all about Prom. I do not need to feel this way_. Even as she whispered that to herself, Quinn knew she was lying to her. She wasn't over Finn because she was never into him to begin with. Not how she wished she would be. Not like she was into... _No. Why would I even think about that?_

As Mercedes went back to her book, Quinn rummaged through her book bag for her iPod. She refused to witness the disgusting love of the FinnAndRachel act. She still could not believe Rachel risked Nationals to let Finn kiss her. Nationals!

She found her iPod and stuck the ear buds in her ears. They still had about fifteen minutes till getting off the plane, and that would give her a few songs. She hit play and a singer she knew all-to-well filled her ears.

 _"You're not alone, together we stand, I'll be by your side you know I'll take your -_ "

"You have _got_ to be fucking _kidding_ me," the blonde murmured, ripping the ear buds out. She could settle for silence.

After landing, the gleeks rushed to grab their luggage from baggage claim as each suitcase passed on the belt. Quinn lunged for the red cheerios duffle bag before it disappeared. Shrugging it onto her shoulder, she waved goodbye to Mercedes and Tina, heading towards the sliding doors until Mike grabbed her from behind and hugged her. Quinn laughed into his shoulder and settled into his embrace. The male Asian had always been kind to her, especially during her pregnancy.  He would be the one she missed most over summer break. Well, after Brittany and even Santana, but Satan already informed her that they would be having a sleepover soon and Quinn could not refuse.

"See you later Mike," she whispered and was released. He grinned and grabbed Tina's hand as they walked outside.

The blonde continued to watch them through the see-through doors and smiled at the couple as Mike kissed the other Asians temple. Her view was then obstructed by a lankly boy in a purple suit and brown hair.

"Quinnie Quinn Quinn," Kurt sang. "I am very sorry that you had to witness the display of my brother and favorite annoying, yet loving, Diva.

"However," the feminine boy continued as he clapped his hands together. "I refuse to let you disappear this summer. You must hang out with me and Mercedes. Don't let Finchel ruin anything. You will come to girl nights and you _will_ have fun."

Quinn shifted her gaze from Kurt to outside the airport where Rachel seemed to be sucking face with the giant. Her breathing picked up and she clenched her fist, the nailed digging into her palm. Finn got into the pick-up truck (the same one in which she was dumped in), grabbed the singer's hand and kissed it. He grinned as Rachel spun around, her face beaming, and walked back towards the airport. The blonde's eyes continued to follow Rachel. Her hair was slightly curly as it bounced off her shoulders. The brunette wore a simple red dress with large red buttons up the front. She wore black and gray argyle stocking, which the ex-cheerio thought was too much for May. Rachel burst in through the doors and disappeared down the busy hallway and got lost in the pool of people. Quinn's eyes traveled back to Finn who was staring their way as well, obviously waiting for Kurt so he could take them home. He caught her eye and quickly looked away.

"I, um..." Quinn began as she snapped back into the conversation she was having with Kurt. "I don't - Finn is at your house which means - It's awkward - Rachel will be there, too, so... I just, I don't - I can't go to girls' night," she finished lamely.

The boy stepped forward and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Quinn, I want you to have a great senior year," he smiled. "No Baby-Gate, no crazy boy drama. And all that has to begin with you letting Finn go and being halfway decent with Rachel. She's not that bad."

Quinn recognized the affection in Kurt's tone when he spoke of Rachel and wondered when that happened.

"I know she'd not that bad, Kurt," the blonde growled. "She just irritates me sometimes. And I have _so_ let go of Finn. I didn't even really want him in the first place."

Kurt tilted his head.

"Then why did you date him again? And why are you upset he is with Rachel?"

"I'm not upset!" She huffed. Kurt looked at her disbelieving. "I'm _not_. It's all just messed up. He going to hold her back and she can't let him do that. She's too _good._ "

"Since when did you get on the Rachel Berry bandwagon?" The boy chuckled. "Just come to girl's night. We can get Rachel there, _Finnless_ , and you two can sort out whatever drama it is you two have. Because senior year is going to be great!" He squeezed her hand and ran to Finn's truck to head home.

Quinn shook her head and headed outside as well. It had been half-an-hour since she texted her mother to come pick her up. She looked at her phone, not knowing why she was expecting a response. Her mother was probably passed out on the couch since Quinn had not been there for a couple days to throw out the vodka. _Figures,_ she thought.

The ex-cheerio stood on the sidewalk, bag over her shoulder as the cars passed by to pick people up. Suddenly, her head snapped forward as a hand smacked the back of her head.

"What the hell?!" the blonde yelled.

"That's what you get for letting Finn engulf the midget up on stage," the Latina Santana Lopez said.

"How is that _my_ fault?"

Santana shrugged.

"I don't know, just is."

Quinn huffed and crossed her arms, refusing to look at the Latina. As much as she loved the girl, she hated her sometimes, too.

"Look, mamacita, I have to get Brittany back to my house within an hour to we can get our mack on before mi Madre gets home. But, I can give you a ride if you need it. Did -" Santana paused, daring to continue. "Did Judy forget to pick you up?

The blonde felt the tears prickling at her eyes and she refused to look at Santana. _This is why we're still friends,_ she thought. _She knows too much of my shit_.

"I don't know..." she breathed. "I doubt she is coming though."

Quinn wrapped her arms around herself. The closer to herself she is, the more she can forget about the world. However, she could feel Santana's gaze on her so she finally turned to face her.

"Get in my car and I'll take you home. Or, wherever," Santana shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.

Quinn nodded. "Thank you. Can I go inside to the restroom real quick?"

"Juno, you are wasting my precious time with Brits. Run quick before I smack you again."

The blonde quickened inside, turning right in the airport hallway to the nearest restroom. She stopped at the mirror to glance at her make-up and newly cut hair.

 _My mother is going to hate that,_ she grimaced.

She heard a toilet flush and a tiny brunette opened a stall door and walked up to a sink right beside Quinn. Quinn's breath still as lavender perfumed consumed her. Quinn looked back into the mirror and saw the brown eyes widened as she noticed the blonde next to her.

"Hello, Quinn!" Rachel squeaked.

Quinn's eyes shifted down as she tapped her fingers on the sink counter. She _really_ did not want to have this conversation.

"I really have to go, Rachel" the blonde said as she spun around to grab the bathroom door handle. She felt a small hand squeeze her elbow.

"Wait, Quinn, please" the diva pleaded. "I would really like to talk to you."

Quinn shifted, using all her head cheerio composure, and stood towards Rachel.

"Talk."

"I'm sorry if you were hurt by what happened between Finn and me onstage," the brunette began. "I didn't know he was going to do that. But-" she stopped and bit her lip. Rachel stared Quinn in the eyes, and took a deep breath as if she was afraid to say the next part.

"But I love him. I really do. And I know that might hurt you, you know, I am truly sorry about that but we want to do this. We're going to. Finn and I have no more secrets and I think we're both in a good place. So I would greatly appreciate it if you could be happy for us. And..."

Rachel finally looked away from Quinn, taking a sudden interest in the plain, white wall. The blonde tapped her foot impatiently.

"And _what?"_ Quinn pressed. Rachel fidgeted with the sleeve of her dress.

"And I think you may need to really think about why you are so upset with Finn and me dating. Just... it might be good for you and explain some things that I don't even think you understand...." Rachel stopped

Quinn blinked. _What is Berry even saying_ , she wondered. Quinn turned back around, glanced one more time at Rachel, her hazel eyes roaming the brunette's features, until hazel found the chocolate eyes again. Quinn swung the bathroom door open.

"Don't, Berry. Just don't," and Quinn slammed the door behind her.

She walked out in the breezy air, ignoring the annoyed look of Santana, and wished the school year behind. She had a whole summer to go without Rachel and mixed feelings of _whatever_ , something Quinn couldn't even understand. The blonde would start this summer off with no Glee club, no cheerleading. She could try to ignore her drunken mother and spend a few months with Santana and Brittany. And no tiny, annoying brunette.

_Yeah right._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Thank you for those who read my first chapter!   
> 2\. Reviews are greatly appreciated and really help with the writing!  
> 3\. Follow me at seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com, seekingoutfri.livejournal.com, or http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2838998/seekingoutfriday  
> 4\. Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or OneRepublic

**_The Same Day_ **

Quinn's feet took her up the sidewalk to the front door of the two-story brick house with olive-gray painting. She waved goodbye to Brittany and Santana as they drove off. The blonde sighed, dreading to open the front door. She went three days without facing her mother and though those three days were not the best she has had (breaking down in front of Satan and Britt, witnessing the atrocious reunion of Finn and Rachel), she was not ready to go back into this house; house of despair, quietness, and loneliness.

 It was this house that the ex-cheerio was kicked out of sophomore year for _one_ mistake. It was this house that her father was then this kicked out for cheating on her mother. It was the same house that she was finally let back in, only to suffer with more drunkenness because her mother felt she needed something, _anything_ , to cling onto since she didn't have Quinn's father anymore. Now it is just Quinn and Judy, hardly communicating, just letting silence fill the house as they occupy separate rooms.

Quinn pushed the front door open and was met with a darkened house; none of the lights were on, but Quinn knew her Judy was there because she could _smell_ the alcohol. Her hand grabbed for the light switch right next to the door and flicked it on, letting light flood the living room. The blonde heard a groan from the other side of the couch.

"Mom?" She questioned as she slowly walked to the couch. There, in a pale blue dress decked out with creamy pearl earrings, was Judy Fabray. On the floor was an empty bottle of liquor. Quinn sighed and rubbed her forehead as if to make the scene before her go away.

"Mom, can you please get up?" Quinn asked. She leaned down and wormed one arm under the older blonde's back while the other arm wrapped around her neck. She attempted to lift her mother up off the couch but to no avail.

"Seriously, get your drunken ass _off_ the couch!" She growled. The older Fabray's eyes snapped open.

"Quinnie! You are not allowed to speak to me like that! That type of language is not permitted in this house," Judy exclaimed. She huffed and wriggled her rear on the couch until she was finally in a sitting position.

Quinn rolled her eyes. _Yes, because foul language is the worst thing in this house_ , she thought.

Judy was silent for a minute, staring at the fireplace on the other side of the wall. Suddenly, her eyes shifted to meet her daughter's eyes.

"Quinn!" She beamed. Her hand reached out to stroke her daughter's face in what Quinn could only call a somewhat loving gesture. "Did you just get back? Tell me all about the big apple."

Stepping away from the couch, Quinn shook her head.

"You've been drinking. I want to talk to you about Nationals when you are sober and will remember it in a few hours."

"I'm not-" Judy hiccupped. "I'm not drunk, dear. It was just a little bit. Just a little to- to help me."

The mother braced her hands on the couch and pushed up in an attempt to get off the couch. Her foot knocked the bottom on the ground, letting in roll away as Judy swayed in place. Quinn rushed forward to grab her mother's shoulders. She steered them past the kitchen, slowly, and down the hall to the master bedroom.  She kicked the door open and stepped away from Judy.

"Why can't you go to an AA meeting?" She pleaded for what felt like the millionth time. Judy's shoulder's straightened, one hand holding onto the door frame.

"AA is for sinners, sweetheart," the older blonde glared while adding the term of endearment.

Quinn turned around and headed up the stairs.

"We're all sinners, mother."

Quinn flopped down on her antique, white day bed with green and beige floral patterned bedspread. She reached for her stuffed lamb, which she named Charlie when she was six, and held it close to her chest as tears prickled her eyes. Quinn hated coming home to the sight of her mother like that. Most times, it was not so bad. But whenever Quinn was out of the house for more than one day, Judy would indulge in her favorite pastime; drinking. The blonde propped up the stuffed lamb on her chest so its beady eyes were looking at her.

"We're going to get out of here someday, ok?" She whispered what she hoped was not an empty promise. "Just one more school year and we are gone. Just one more year."

**_June 1, 2011_ **

Smoke filled the basement room as the Unholy Trinity puffed on Marlboro cigarettes which Santana swiped from her father. Brittany, dressed in black tights and a long, red sweatshirt, leaned against the Latina, her cigarette resting between her two fingers. Santana played with the dancer's hair and watched as Quinn coughed nonstop into her shirt.

"You ok, there, preggers?" Santana smirked.

"No, you idiot," Quinn coughed, clutching her stomach. "Just dying from smoke inhalation over here. Never, ever smoking again. How do you two do that?"

"We're naturals. Excellent breath control, if you know what I mean," the Latina said as she wiggled her eyebrows. Brittany laughed and reached up to grabbed Santana chin, brining her mouth to reach the dancer's.

Quinn looked away and stared down at her hands as her two best friends' tongues battled each other. Heat spread throughout her body and she shifted on the ground. _Oh, no_ Quinn thought as she heard a whimper from Brittany and she slammed her eyes shut. Quinn's breath started to become uneven as it quickened and her pulse raced. She heard more gasps and moans and she scooted away, eyes still closed.

"San," the dancer breathed, pulling away from the Latina. "San, I think we made Q uncomfortable."

Santana pulled Brittany back to her, enclosing the dark arms around the light skin. They sat back to chest with the blonde in between Santana's legs. The Latina grabbed the nearest cigarette butt and threw it at Quinn, forcing her to open her eyes.

"No, Q's just jealous," Santana grinned. Quinn clenched her fists.

"Of _what_?" Quinn hissed. "Of excessive PDA?"

"No, you are jealous of our sweet lady kisses."

Quinn gaped.

" _Excuse me_? Not everyone is gay Santana, just because you are out of the closet. I don't want-" Quinn shuddered at the next thought, but she didn't know if it was out of disgust or... something. "-sweet lady kisses..." she trailed off.

Quinn looked back at Santana, who was still grinning from ear to ear. Brittany was smiling as well, but it was the smirk on Santana that Quinn did not like. The Latina kissed the dancer one more time before untangling their limbs and scooted over to Quinn. She tilted her head towards Quinn's, their face only centimeters apart. The blonde could smell the smoke from Santana's breath mixed with a citrus smell which was probably mouthwash.

"Have you _ever_ kissed a girl, Q?" The Latina asked.

Quinn could feel the puffs on air from Santana's lips are she spoke. Quinn's eyes darted from the brown eyes down to her lips which were curling into a sneer. Hazel eyes shot back up to brown, but she still had yet to move her arms, legs, _anything_ , to move away from Santana. Quinn held her breath.

"Well," Santana continued, "if you ever want to find out how soft girls really are, Quinnie, just let Britts and I know." She brought a finger to caress the blonde's jaw line, chuckled at Quinn's surprised eyes, and scooted back to her dancer. The two clasped their hands together and began rummaging through the movie selection.

Quinn sat in the same spot, the past five minutes running through her head like a film strip.

 _What just happened?_ She wondered. The blonde brought a hand over her heart which was beating faster than normal and chocolate eyes, long brown hair with skin lighter than Santana's flashed in her head. Quinn shook her head and voted on a movie.

Chocolate eyes came back to her in her sleep.

**_June 2, 2011_ ** ****

Quinn always ran in the morning. She hadn't while she was on the cheerios because they practiced in the morning and practice under Sue Sylvester's watch had been more exercise than anyone would need in their life. But since quitting Cheerios, Quinn had begun running a couple miles each morning at 6 a.m. She slipped her feet into her white sneakers, trying not to wake up Santana and Brittany who were spooning in front of the TV. She tiptoed up the basement steps, quietly shutting the basement door.

Her feet pounded on pavement and she jammed the ear buds in with her iPod on shuffle. She breathed slowly, in and out, maintaining a constant speed.

_Step out the door and it feels like rain  
That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane  
Take to the streets but you can't ignore  
That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for_

She thought over the past couple weeks since Nationals. _Left foot, right foot, left, right, left, right_. The road is where she could escape and clear her head.

The girl with chocolate eyes and long legs kept coming in her dreams (Quinn had gave up the notion that it _could_ be male). She had been there for years but in the past couple of weeks, she frequented Quinn's dreams and daily thoughts like a parasite. And the blonde felt like she recognized those eyes. And at voice, although it always sounds clouded and far away, Quinn knew she knew that voice. Quinn had no _idea_ what any of it meant, especially since the blonde and the brunette always seemed so... _intimate_.

_If ever your world starts crashing down_ _  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down that's when you'll find me  
Yeah_ __

Quinn shook her head and replaced those thoughts with what happened last night. Santana had invited her to hang out with her and Brittany for a movie night. Quinn went, but had not expected the two to make out right in front of her. Sure, she had caught them in much more compromising positions before, but she had to actually accidently walk in on them. Santana and Brittany at least usually had enough decency to hide in the bathroom or wait until Quinn was in another room. But not now.

_God love your soul and your aching bones_ _  
Take a breath  
Take a step  
Meet me down below  
Everyone's the same  
Our fingers to our toes  
We just can't get a ride but we're on the road_ __

And Quinn didn't even know where to start with what that made her feel. Having Santana's lips so close to her, so _tempting_ and _forbidden_. To be afraid to watch them kiss because she might feel _something_ unwanted.

_Lost 'til you're found_ _  
Swim 'til you drown  
Know that we all fall down  
Love 'til you hate  
Strong 'til you break  
Know that we all fall down  
Mmm_ __

She never felt any of that with any of her other boyfriends. She had loved at least two of them, but had never felt any desire. Not like she had felt last night (or _tried_ not to feel) and not like she feels whenever she sees -

"Oomf! I am so sorry!" A voice shrieked as Quinn was knocked sideways.

Quinn, who had not been paying attention to where she was running either, took out her ear buds. Her eyes followed from the white and pink shoes in front of her, to tan legs with did not seem to end but they did because the legs reach gray cotton shorts. The ex-cheerio's eyes continued to a purple tank top which did nothing to cover the swell of cleavage bursting the top.

The blonde blushed and quickly snapped her eyes up to the person's face and she was met with Rachel Berry.

Rachel had her hair pulled back and her bangs kept under wraps with a white headband. She seemed be exercising as well because beads of sweat trickled from her neck down into her cleavage.

Quinn brought her hand up to her cheek to find it was still heated. She continued to keep her eyes on Rachel's face, not daring them to look anywhere else. Her eyes were dark brown and Quinn felt that she has seen them somewhere else but couldn't place it.

"Berry, Hi. Um, just watch where you are going next time."

Rachel smiled. Quinn took a couple steps back then willed her feet to pick up and started running again. She felt an arms brush up her side as she noticed Rachel running right next to her, keeping with the blonde's pace. Quinn stopped.

"Did you need something, Berry?"

Rachel against flashed a smile which made Quinn cringe. _Does the girl ever stop smiling?_ She questioned.

"I have a proposition for you, Quinn," the diva began. "I propose we become friends this summer so Glee is tolerable. Of course, it is always tolerable for me, enjoyable even, as long as I get a solo, but I know you in the past, for some reason, become frustrated with me. Ss I would like to set up a time soon where we could engage and friendly activities. Kurt has been wanting to-"

Quinn put up a hand to silence her.

"I don't like you," the blonde stated. "Let's just be civil from a comfortable distance and not be friends. How about that?

Rachel stomped her foot and crossed her arms in a huff.

"You do not _not_ like me, Quinn, and I want to show you that."

"No, I really don't like you. You steal my boyfriends," the blonde snarled.

"Can you please stop with the whole 'I stole your boyfriend!' excuse? It's tiring," Rachel said. "You never even really liked Finn enough to even be _hurt_ that I took him. It was never about Finn. And since Finn and I are happy together, and since you never truly adored him, _which you didn't, trust me on that_ , we need to be friends. I would really like that. And I believe you would, too. I can be an excellent friend to have."

Quinn gaped as the brunette _finally_ took a breath. Quinn stared at the ground, laughing to herself. _Only Rachel Berry can claim she is an excellent friend to have_.

"Whatever, Berry. You have my number." And with that, Quinn began running and did not look back at Rachel.

_If ever your world starts crashing down_ _  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
If ever your world starts crashing down that's when you'll find  
Find me_ __

Maybe they could be friends. But an uneasy feeling rose up in Quinn as she thought that. She didn't understand that feeling, though. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Visit my beta reader at nataliving.tumblr.com  
> Follow me at seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com, seekingoutfri.livejournal.com, or http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2838998/seekingoutfriday  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**_June 4, 2011_ **

The smell of coffee filled Quinn's senses as she walked up to the Lima Bean's counter after hearing her name being called. She grabbed her chi tea and made her way to the small, round table by the window where Blaine and Kurt were sitting.

Quinn, after almost two weeks of being incessantly bombarded by texts from Kurt, agreed to meet them for an hour or two to hang out. According to Kurt, this was to be the beginning of "the last year we all have together and we might as well make it count."

Clutching her cup, the blonde plopped herself in the seat opposite of the two boys. Blaine was wearing a red polo and black and gray checkered shorts. His hair was no longer gelled and his natural curls fell into his eyes. Kurt, on the other hand, was wearing red pants and a red and black designed button-up long sleeved t-shirt with a black scarf. Despite thinking the outfit was too hot for summer, Quinn thought it was odd that the pair matched color-wise.

Kurt stood up and kissed Quinn's cheek before linking his fingers back with Blaine's.

"Hey, Quinn."

"Hey Kurt," she smiled. "Blaine. Thanks for inviting me."

"Oh sweetie, shush. I've been trying to get you out with us since Nationals."

The blonde took a sip of her coffee. "I know... But thank you for being persistent. I haven't been hanging out with people much. Usually around this time I'd be dating but seeing as I am currently boyfriend-less... well... I have time to spare. And there is only so much of Britt and Santana I can take."

Blaine laughed. "I get what you mean. Brittany forced Santana to take me out with them for karaoke and I went the whole night listening to them either making out or Santana calling me hobbit. For the record, I don't look like Frodo."

"Anyway Quinn, you don't exactly have the greatest track record with guys," Kurt stated.

The blonde sent a glare at the boy before taking another sip of her tea. "I just haven't met the right man yet. That's all."

"Maybe," Kurt shrugged. "Maybe you should just be single this year. Make the most of it."

 _I'm_ fine _with being single,_ Quinn reassured herself. _I don't need Sam or anything. And it's not like Finn was exactly boyfriend of the year or anything. Not when he was too busy ogling -_

"Rachel's been asking about you," Kurt broke the girl's thoughts. Kurt kept his eyes on his drink, refusing to look at the blonde.

"Has she?" Quinn asked, trying to uninterested. Her lungs for some reason felt like they were constricting. "What was she asking?"

Kurt waved his hand. "Nothing much, just if you are alright. Apparently you are not returning her messages."

"Then you can go ahead and tell her that -" but her  voice was cut off as the Lima Bean's door jingled open and in walked Finn and Rachel. Finn had his hand in the middle of Rachel's back, escorting her to the counter.

Rachel was wearing a white button-up shirt with sleeves cut off and a black skirt. Quinn's jaw clenched as Finn's hand moved up to play with the ends of the brunette's hair.

 _The skirt is_ ridiculously _short,_ Quinn thought. She felt Kurt kick her in the shin and realized she had been staring at Rachel's legs for too long of a time. Her eyes snapped up to Rachel's.

The brunette smiled and wiggled her fingers at Quinn. The blonde waved back, before turning back to Kurt. Rachel had ordered her drink and she and Finn made their way over to a booth in the corner.

Kurt smirked at Quinn before turning his attention back to Blaine who had returned to the table. They entered conversation about fashion (Quinn heard bowties and suspenders mentioned) and the blonde let her eyes travel to the booth of Glee's Golden Couple.

Finn and Rachel sat on the same side of the booth, sparing no space in between them. Rachel played with Finn's right hand while his other hand continued fiddling with the diva's bangs. Their faces where turned in towards each other with only an inch gap. Finn leaned to the side to whisper something in the brunette's ear and the girl giggled. They seemed much closer in physical affection that they had last time the couple had dated.

Quinn watched as Rachel grabbed Finn's face and brought him down to a kiss. The blonde suddenly felt like she was going to vomit.

 _Yes, definitely closer. Almost as if..._ Quinn's hands clenched at the thought. _No way would Rachel do that. She was supposed to wait until she was 25_!

The diva finally broke the kiss. She looked up and her smile quickly dropped when she caught Quinn's eye. The blonde shook her head, finding it suddenly difficult to breath.

"Kurt," Quinn interrupted. "Do you think - Finn and Rachel - do you know if they have..." The blonde trailed off, staring at her hands. She didn't even know why it mattered if Rachel and Finn have had sex.

Kurt looked at her with what the girl could only describe as pity in his eyes. "Honey, I don't think you really want to be thinking about that."

Quinn still had the queasy feeling in her stomach. "I'm not _thinking_ about it, I just -"

"FABRAY!"

"I didn't order another drink!" The blonde yelled, whipping her head towards the Lima Bean counter. And no, she did not order a drink, but a large man in a gray pinstripe business suit did.

Quinn's eyes widened. "Oh, _shit_ ," the blonde whimpered.

"What?" Kurt asked.

Quinn sat frozen in her chair, unable to tear her gaze away from Russell Fabray. She hadn't seen nor spoken to her father since she was kicked out of his house two years ago.

Russell paid the barista, not having yet noticed his daughter. Her hands clutched the edge of the table so furiously her knuckles had turned white. She did not move as the man made his way past their table to the exit. Suddenly, he stopped and turned back around and Quinn locked gazes for the first time in two years with a man she used to call her father.

He had more wrinkles around the eyes than before, but that may be because of the look of disgust on his face as his eyes flickered to Kurt and Blaine. Russell had more gray in his hair, too, than the last time Quinn had seen him.

Russell took a heavy breath before stomping to Quinn's table. The blonde braced herself for the blow up.

"Quinn," he nodded curtly.

" _Russell_ ," the ex-cheerio murmured. The man stiffened at that.

"It's _father_ to you. Mind your manners."

The blonde gaped. "Manners? Are you serious right now?"

" _Yes_. And you need to come with me. Now."

"Hell no. I am not coming with you!" Quinn snarled.

Russell reached forward and Quinn flinched right before he gripped her around the elbow and jerked her up off the seat. Quinn whimpered in protest.

"You are my daughter and you are coming with me. I am not going to let you stay here with this _filth!_ " He pointed at Kurt and Blaine.

Quinn's nostrils flared and her eyes flashed. The blonde pushed at his chest with her free arm, struggling to escape his grip. "I am _not_ your daughter! You decided that when you threw me out."

Blaine jumped up from his seat to go get the manager and Kurt tried pulling Quinn away but Russell's grip on the girl was too strong; Quinn knew she was going to have bruises afterwards.

"Please let me go," she pleaded. Quinn felt her eyes watering. She noticed Rachel whisper something to Finn who nodded and pulled her out of the booth and walked towards them.

"Dammit, Quinn. I tried to raise you right. Took you to church and taught you right from wrong. And yet, here you are, sitting with two fags like it's not a sin!" He was booming now and people in the coffee shop began to notice the commotion. "I thought your mother and I had cleaned you of this type of immorality _years_ ago!"

The tears were now flowing uncontrollably down Quinn's face as she remember the sting on her face from his palm of an incident six years ago. It was the first time he had ever hit her, and this was the first time the incident had been brought up since those years ago.

Russell began dragging Quinn away and she heard Kurt screaming. Or it could have been her own voice; she wasn't sure.

"You need to let go of her now, sir," said a deep voice. Quinn peered over Russell's shoulder through her watery eyes and saw Finn grab the man's shoulder. Rachel stood behind Finn, nervously playing with her hands but never looking away from Quinn. Rachel's own eyes were filled with tears.

Russell dropped Quinn's arms to turn around to Finn. "Aren't you the one who got her pregnant?" He said angrily. Finn shifted his feet, his courage failing him and he stared down.

"Uh, no Mr. Fabray, I actually didn't but um... yea. You still shouldn't hurt Quinn like that and I don't think she wants to go with you and since you don't have - what is it Rachel? - oh yea, custody or rights or something of her anymore, I don't think you are allowed to boss her around," Finn hesitated before continuing.  "And Quinn doesn't exactly like being touched so... Uh, you also called my brother over there the "F" word and we can't use that word. So yea, sir, Quinn doesn't want to go with you and my girlfriend doesn't exactly like you. So that means you need to leave."

Quinn knew this is one of the few moments that she would be able to think back on Finn and actually be proud of him - even if it was because of the prompting of Rachel.

At the mention of Finn's girlfriend, Russell's gaze snapped towards the diva and Rachel clung onto Finn. "Are you the one with two homos as fathers?"

Rachel gasped. " _Excuse me?"_

Russell shook his head, noticed the manager and Blaine heading towards them, looked at Quinn one last time, and left out the exit. The last thing Quinn heard was "You really aren't my daughter."

Quinn's knees buckled as her father's car peeled out of the parking lot. She wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the flood of tears, and not daring to look at anyone else. She felt a pair of warm and soft hands cup her cheeks and Quinn instantly fell into the embrace.

"Quinn, please, look at me," Rachel said softly. The blonde stilled before realizing that Rachel was now hugging her. Quinn pushed at Rachel's shoulders with a sob and ran to her car.  

She clutched the steering wheel, her sobs now coming out in great heaves. She needed to do something. Something big that. Making a rash decision, she quickly dialed a number on her cell phone not caring that she was still crying. A voice answered after four dials.

"Hello?"

"S, I need to come to your house right now. And I need you to help me with something. Do you still have that pink hair dye from spirit week and your cousin's home piercing kit?"

**_February 11, 2005_ **

Eleven year old Quinn Fabray ran to hug her dad as he leaned against his car in the front of school. She jumped on him, yammering about her school day and about making Valentine's Day cards in class.

"- and Mrs. Thompson had us all use fancy scissors and we got to make these really awesome Valentine's Day cards! She had us hand them out early because on the fourteenth she is going to be in Idaho with her husband so our party was today."

Russell grabbed his daughter's book bag and tossed it in the front seat before opening the back seat car door. The bubbly blonde hopped in, still chattering about the class.

"Josh Martins gave me _two_ cards, but I don't like him so it was stupid. But Pat gave me a _really big_ card and she said that she was my secret admirer and I really liked that. She is cuter than Josh anyway and she is really good at soccer and she has really pretty blue eyes."

At that last statement, Russell's hands fumbled with the keys in the ignition.

"Pat is a _girl_?" He sputtered.

Quinn nodded. "Yes. Patricia. She likes Pat better. We sit together in class a lot. I like her, I think."

The father locked his jaw and slammed the keys in the ignition and pushed the pedal. "Quinn, shut up."

The girl blinked. "What?"

"Just _shut up_ until we get home."

The eleven year old remained quiet in the back seat for the ten minute drive not understanding. Her father had been mad before, shouted, and she had seen him throw stuff before, but he had never so harshly spoken to her like and told her to shut up.

Quinn grudgingly got out of the car once they pulled into the garage. Her father, forgetting about the book bag in the front seat, grabbed the girl's hand and pushed her into the house.

"Judy!" He yelled. "Judy!"

Judy and another teenager (tall, sandy blonde hair about the age of seventeen) walked into the living room where Russell stood there fuming and the little girl bewildered.

"What is it, Russell?" Judy asked.

The man pointed up the stairs. "Hallie, go to your room now." As the teenage leapt up the stairs, Russell turned back to Judy and Quinn, the young girl shaking. "Quinn, tell your mother about Pat."

The young blonde looked back and forth between the two adults not quite understanding. "Patricia is a girl at school I like. She got me a really cool Valentine card."

Judy's hand came up to cover her mouth as she muttered _no, no, no, please no,_ over and over again. Her husband continued with the questions. "Quinn, when you say like, you mean as a friend, right? This is not a crush. You have a crush on that Josh kid."

The little girl shook her head, thinking her father was stupid for not getting it. " _No_. I like her. She is funny and really cute. I don't like Josh. Or any of the boys in my class. But I like Pat."

Russell's hands fisted at his sides. "Quinn, you are not allowed to like another girl. That would mean you are a gay - just like those Berry men - a lesbian, and no daughter of mine is a lesbian. Gay people go to hell. Now tell me again. Who do you like?"

Quinn blinked again. _What is daddy's deal?_ "Pat. I really like Pat."

Quinn saw anger flash in her father's eyes as he started now yelling. "Quinn, no! You are not gay! That is a sin! YOU ARE A GIRL AND SO IS PAT!"

"Well then I like girls!" Quinn yelled and her head whipped to the side as she felt the sting of her father's hand against her cheek. Judy gasped and the little girl's eyes instantly swelled up. Her father just _hit_ her.

Quinn rubbed her burning cheek as she began crying. Russell tried to calm his breathing. "Quinn, you do not like girls. Is that correct?"

Quinn remained silent for a moment, not understanding. Her cheek still throbbed and she did not know why she couldn't like another girl. Boys were gross and called her mean things whereas girls were cute and liked the same things she did. But Quinn, with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, looked up at her father who stared her down with defiant eyes and she knew the answer she had to give.

"I like boys, not girls," she choked. "I will go to hell if I like a girl."

Russell breathed a sigh of relief. He brought his hand to his daughter's face, ignoring her flinch, and rubbed it with his thumb in what he considered an apology and then left to the kitchen.

Judy refused to look at her daughter and instead retreated to the kitchen as well, pouring herself a glass of vodka in what would be the first time of many more times after that.

Quinn wiped at her eyes and ran to her bedroom flopping herself on her bed. The next day in school, she would not sit next to Pat but instead next to Josh.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately.   
> P.S. I, like Rachel Berry, am like Tinkerbell. I need applause to live. Or, actually, just reviews. Negative or positive. Thanks!  
> Follow me at seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com, seekingoutfri.livejournal.com, or www.fanfiction.net/u/2838998/seekingoutfriday  
> Thanks a bunch to my beta reader Natalie!

**_June 4, 2011  
  
_ 6:00 p.m. _  
_Berry:** Quinn, I am just checking up on you to see how you are doing since the incident at the Lima Bean.  Please acknowledge that you have received my message and respond back.

 **9:06 p.m. _  
_Berry:** Please, Quinn. Kurt said he has yet to hear from you and, of course, Santana will not tell me anything about the situation. I would really like to hear from you and know that you are not doing anything rash after your most recent encounter. ** __**

 ** _June 5, 2011  
  
_ 1:00 p.m. _  
_Berry:** Good afternoon, Quinn! I hope you have a fantastic day and I anticipate a phone call from you today. Take care.  **__**

**_June 6, 2011  
  
_ 9:01 a.m. _  
_Berry:** Quinn! This is very unlike you! Usually you always respond to me, even if it is with sarcasm or idle insults. I care about you. ** __**

 ** _June 7, 2011  
  
_ 12:36 p.m. _  
_Berry:** Hello, Quinn. A few of us Glee-clubbers are having a musical movie marathon tomorrow and I would like to extend an invitation out to you. Please come? ** __**

 ** _June 8, 2011  
  
_ 7:12 a.m. _  
_Berry:** No one has heard form you in a few days. I wish to hear from you soon. ** _  
_7:29 a.m. _  
_Quinn:** I'm fine.   
  
**__**

**_June 5, 2011_ **

The door creaked open as Quinn walked through the front door of her house. She did not come home yesterday, but opted to stay the night at Santana's after coloring her hair. Quinn had to admit she looked hot - or as Santana said, " _Totally fuckable"_ \- with the bright pink hair and the nose ring definitely added its own element. She passed a mirror in the hallway and doubled back to look at herself.

 _Definitely need different clothes_ , she thought while tugging at her blouse. She had on a long, pale yellow skirt, gray top and a white short-sleeve cardigan, all which clashed with her new hair. She'd have to fix that and get new clothes later.

Quinn's phone vibrated in her hand and saw that Rachel was again texting her. She stared at the text, remembering the way the brunette's hands felt on her face and how Quinn had tilted into her embrace. The girl huffed in frustration as heat spread throughout her body for some unexplained reason. Rubbing her eyes - trying to get rid of the memory - she deleted Rachel's text.

 Ascending up the stairs, Quinn was a foot away from her bedroom when she heard an audible gasp. Judy stood at the end of the hallway, hands clutching a coffee mug, the older woman's face aghast as she took in Quinn's appearance.

"What have you _done?"_ Judy gaped.

Quinn stiffened, her hand never leaving her bedroom door knob in case she needs to quickly hide in there. "Wanted a change," she smirked. "How do I look?"

"This - I -" her mother's mouth remained opened like a fish as she swayed backwards. "What - Why? _Why?_ "

Quinn shrugged. "I was tired of being daddy's little golden child, something I could clearly never be. As evidence of yesterday." She muttered the last part to herself.

"But your _hair!_ " Judy whined, reaching out to touch the pink. "And - _Is that a nose ring?!_ This is ridiculous, sweetheart. We can go to the hair parlor today and get it back to your gorgeous blonde. And take out that ring!"

Quinn swiped away the older blonde's arm. "No. I actually think I look good in it. And plenty of women have nose piercings. It's pretty common nowadays."

"But, honey. What do you think people are going to think? I mean, you look like -" Judy snapped her mouth shut. Mother and daughter stood at a standstill until the older lady forced a smile which irked Quinn.

"What, mom? What do I look like?" she pressed.

Judy still smiled sweetly as she shook her head. "Nothing, dear. You just don't look like the daughter I know."

"No," Quinn gritted. "That is not what you were going to say. What. Do. I. Look. Like

"...You just look a little lesbian."

Quinn stared at her mother in disbelief that she would actually say that in the house; that taboo word. "Jeez, I cannot believe you would actually say that. Like anyone in this family could be gay, or heck, pregnant at 16 or -"

"Quinnie, I just don't want you do be giving off the wrong idea to people, that is all."

The young girl scoffed. "The wrong idea to whom, mom? The women at church or the country club? It's just a change of look. It means nothing!"

Silence enveloped the both of them. Judy couldn't refute that she was worried about the Fabray reputation with their social group for that would be a lie. And Quinn refused to give into her mother. Finally, after several minutes of a stare down, Quinn was sick of the silence.

"I just wanted to piss of dad, ok? Just let me do this, please."

"Alright, alright," replied Judy, biting her lip. "I do not like it at all. It's very - what do they call it? - well, butch. But you are the one who wants this, so you can deal with... the people. Ok?"

Quinn shook her head. "Whatever. Thank you, I guess."

Judy studied Quinn for one more moment before turning to go back down stairs. Quinn retreated to her bedroom, yelling "And that better be coffee in that mug!" at her mother before slamming the door shut~.

The pink-haired girl slipped off her flats and tossed them in the closet before surveying herself in the mirror. She tossed around her hair and put on some lip gloss before looking again back at her reflection. "I do _not_ look like a lesbian," she murmured.

**_June 8, 2011_ **

_Her back arched up as fingers danced across her body as hot breath panted into her neck. The blonde's hand fisted in a mane of dark hair as she brought the head up to her and captured the plump lips. Quinn bit down on the girl's bottom lip and chuckled before slipping in her tongue._

_The blonde flipped them over so she was on top and the brunette writhed beneath her as Quinn's hand scaled down the olive skin. She rested her own forehead on the girl's own and peered into the chocolate eyes._

_"You're amazing, you know that?" the blonde whispered against those lips._

_The darker skinned girl grasped at the Quinn's back, leaving possible scratch marks, making Quinn hiss in pleasure._

_"Please," the brunette whimpered before entwining their legs._

_The blonde replied by nipping at her ear and then trailing her tongue down the girl's neck. "Please, what?"_

_The brunette was now the one arching off the bed. "Please," she cried out, "I need -"_

Quinn jolted awake as a beeping noise filled her ear. She glanced at her clocked and groaned when she read it was 7:12 a.m. She lay in her bed for a minute before the guilt washed over her as she recalled her vivid dream.

She sat up with her elbows on her knees and pace in her hands as she shut her eyes to will away the images of her dream. The brim of her forehead was trickling sweat and arousal had filled her body from the unwanted but satisfying dream. Quinn breathed in and out, trying not to rub her legs together, but nothing helped and she still felt hot and dirty. 

Sobs shook the ex-cheerleader's body as the ache between her legs did not dull; only giving evidence to Quinn that on some level she _enjoyed_ the dream. Quinn's shaky hands wiped off the sweat from her forehead before tearing off her shirt to let the air cool her down and she wrapped her arms around herself.

"That was not me, that was not me, that was not me," she chanted over and over again, trying to convince herself that it was not actually her in the dream with another woman. _It was a blonde and a brunette, and I am not neither blonde nor brunette,_ she told herself. Shaking her head, Quinn knew that it did not make any difference. Her cheeks remained tear-stained, but the blonde had stopped crying.

Finally, after many minutes, Quinn reached to grab her phone which was the cause of what woke her up in the first place. She flipped it open to see Rachel had texted her again.

 **Berry:** No one has heard form you in a few days. I wish to hear from you soon.

Quinn's fingers texted "I'm fine" and tossed the phone back on her dresser. She had just climbed back into her sheets when her ringtone sang. The blonde, already off to a frustrating morning, growled before angrily whipping the phone back open.

"What?!"

"Quinn!" the singer chirped on the other side. "Good morning! I'm glad you finally decided to talk to me."

Quinn pinched her nose. "Hey, Berry. Did you need something?"

"Not exactly. Because I consider you a dear friend of mine, I wanted to double-check and make sure you received my invite to musical movie night tonight. It will be fun and relaxing." The brunette paused before adding, "I also wanted to see how you are feeling since your encounter with your father. I assume instances like that can be troubling and I just want you to know that I am here for you."

"Rachel," she sighed. "He was just being Russell Fabray, ok? I've dealt with him before. His own homophobia flipped out at seeing me with Blaine and Kurt. And before you jump on me, I'm not saying anything bad about the two boys. Just that, you know, my father doesn't exactly... like them. And wishes I would not be around them."

Rachel remained silent and Quinn thought she had lost her. Right as she was about to shut the phone off, Rachel spoke again, sounding a little hesitant. "Does he - in his own warped and judgmental way - have any reason to perhaps be concerned about you hanging out with homosexuals?"

Hands gripped the cell phone tighter as Quinn tried to decipher what Rachel meant. Various people passed through her mind, from Santana to Brittany, to Blaine and Kurt, to Rachel - _why was she thinking about Rachel?_ \- and to Pat. Pat. Quinn didn't like to think about her. The blonde's mind then went back into the dreams, just like the one she just had, the dreams which had been frequenting her recently. She forced all thoughts out of her head before replying.

"No," said Quinn finally. "He doesn't have any reason."

"Ok," Rachel said quietly. "Ok, Quinn. Anyway, movie tonight at my place if you would like to join. Have a good day, Quinn."

Quinn crawled back into bed to sleep for a couple more hours, hoping that only boring dreams would fill her mind.

**_June 12, 2011_ **

Quinn sat by the front door, trying up her black converse while waiting for her mom to appear to take them both to church. After raiding both Santana's and Brittany's closets for clothes yesterday, she had brought home an armful of new clothing to wear to better match her new appearance.

She heard heels clicking on the hardwood floor and she looked up to see her mother in a light blue dress, white belt, and white pearls. Quinn stood up, flattening her shirt, arms out as Judy looked her over with a frown.

The ex-cheerio had chosen to wear black converse with black skinny jeans, a white v-neck shirt and a black vest which remained unbuttoned. The older woman said nothing as she walked out the door to the car and Quinn followed.

They both walked into the church and Quinn noticed that her mother stepped farther away from her than usual. A pang of hurt hit Quinn, but she ignored it as she spotted Sam and his siblings on the far left-side of the pews.

"Meet me at the car at the end of the service, Quinn," she heard her mother say to her as she walked towards Sam.

She plopped down loudly next to Sam but kept her back towards him. Sam, being the ever gentleman he is, tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hi, I'm Sam. I don't think we've ever - oh my gosh you are Quinn," he exclaimed as she turned around grinning. "Wow! This is, uh, this is a big change here."

Quinn flipped her bangs out of her eyes. "Yeah. Just thought, heck, why not? People change, right? Plus, my mom flipped which was priceless."

The small young girl peered around Sam before. "Quinn! You look so _cool!_ " squealed the little girl. She hopped over Sam and climbed onto Quinn's lap.

Quinn laughed and kissed the top of the girl's head. "Thanks, Stacey."

Quinn tried to ignore the whispers and the furtive glances which were thrown her way by some of the elderly woman in the front pews, but she couldn't help it when she clenched her jaw in annoyance.

"So I went out this weekend with Elizabeth," Sam was saying, reeling Quinn back in.

She tore her eyes away from the women to look at Sam. "Cheerleader Elizabeth?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, the one _you_ introduced me to. We just went out to lunch, no big thing, but she is pretty cool. And she told me she dressed up once as Princess Leia for Halloween with is way awesome."

"She's not as awesome as you," interrupted Stacey.

Quinn chuckled again and rustled the little girl's hair. "I bet she isn't, but Sammie still likes her. And Sammie needs someone who is good to him."

"And you aren't good to him?"

Quinn opened her mouth to respond, but quickly shut it when she didn't know what to say to Stacey. Sam gave her a lopsided smile and shrugged. "Quinn was good to me, it just didn't work out."

"Plus, Sam and I are much better as friends. And he's not really my type anyway, I don't think. Too blonde."

Both Stacey and Sam stared.

"What is your type, then?" asked Sam.

Quinn remained silent as she thought. She tugged at her jeans, not really knowing how to answer. _I just put myself in an awkward situation_ , Quinn thought. _Stupid._ It was true, about Sam being too blonde. Quinn always thought it odd that Sam and she could have passed as brother and sister. She had never really been attracted to another blonde.

"Dark hair," Quinn finally said. Chocolate colored eyes swarmed her vision, as well as toned, olive legs, but she ignored that. Dark hair could be her type. Finn and Puck both had darker hair.

Her attention was directed up front as the preacher reached the pulpit. Stacey hopped off Quinn's legs and went back to her seat by her older brother. Sam reached and squeezed Quinn's hand briefly before turning his gaze back to the front of the church.

Quinn clutched her cross necklace in her right hand, repeating a prayer in her head over and over that tonight, when she sleeps, she will not dream. And as the preacher quoted Matthew 7:7, " Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you," she hoped it true.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Cyndi Lauper, or Natalie Imbruglia.

**_June 24, 2011_ **

The hand rails were twined with blue, red and white ribbon and silver stars were plastered all along the walls of the Lima Mall. _America the Beautiful_ played from stereos in almost every store as the mall began its annual "Independence Day is Just Around the Corner!" sale. Quinn rolled her eyes as she passed a man in a Statue of Liberty costume handing out flyers.

Her mother had sent her to the mall to pick up Fourth of July t-shirts from the Every Holiday store. Her mother's small group was planning on wearing the same holiday shirt to their party at the local country club.

Every Holiday was packed with people trying to get fireworks, clothing, and decorative paper plates before the sale went away. Quinn thought it a little ridiculous considering Fourth of July was more than a week away still.

She squeezed her way through two teenage boys fighting over the last pack of roman candles and made her way to the rack at the back corner of the store. The ex-blonde grabbed a few mediums of a white top with a jeweled United States flag on the front and stepped up to the counter, handed the cashier her credit card, grabbed it back and walked out of the store.

She was rummaging through her purse when Quinn notice Rachel and Puck walking out of Claire's together. Rachel was talking to Puck animatedly, waving her arms, while Puck half-smiled, actually looking seemingly interested in whatever the singer was saying.

 _That is... odd_ , Quinn thought.

The boy reached across Rachel to grab the bag out of her hand and tossed it over his shoulder before the diva skipped ahead a little bit before turning back around to him, beaming.

 _Seriously, what..._ Quinn was bewildered. She had never actually seen them interact outside of Glee. Granted, she did know, from Finn, that the quarterback and Rachel broke up last year because Rachel had made out with Puck. So maybe they _do_ hang out outside Glee.

Suddenly, Puck caught Quinn's eye. The boy nodded Rachel's attention over to the ex-cheerio and Rachel spun around to face Quinn's direction, her smile never leaving her face. Quinn waved and hesitantly picked up her feet to head over to the pair.

The small brunette wrapped her arms around Quinn, tangling one of her hands in the pink hair. Quinn's hands automatically wrapped around the smaller girl's waist as they embraced. She received a whiff of lavender right before she stumbled away from Rachel.

"Hey Rachel, Puck."

"Q," the boy acknowledged.

The three teenagers stood there, right in front of Claire's, as the awkward tension refused to dissipate. Puck scratched the back of his head, looking back in forth between the two girls and Rachel wrung her hands before breaking the silence.

"So Quinn, what are you doing here at the mall?"

"Well, you know, shopping," Quinn answered, not particularly engaged in the attempted small talk. "Mom wanted me to pick up some things for Fourth of July, so..."

Quinn caught Puck's eyes shifting towards Rachel, clearly trying to get her attention so the two could leave, but Rachel hadn't noticed.

"What are you two doing here?" Quinn asked, pointing between the boy and girl. "You know... _together?_ "

"Oh!" Rachel exclaimed. "Noah's sister's birthday is in a couple of days and he enlisted my help to find a birthday present for her.

Noah shrugged. "I have no idea what to get an eleven-year-old girl."

"And Finn knows you two are here...?" Quinn questioned. There was no way Finn's jealous nature would allow this without flying off the handle.

Rachel nodded. "Yes, don't worry about that. Noah is actually taking me back to his house after this and Finn is coming over. They are planning on having a Call of Duty marathon. I'm supposed to learn the basics of the game. Oh, I have an idea!" Rachel had jumped up and down and Quinn fleetingly thought that she looking kind of cute. "You should come with us! It would be much better with you there so I am not the only girl."

Quinn raised her eyebrows at the girl. There was no way she was going to spend the rest of the day with her ex-boyfriend and his present girlfriend and the guy who got her pregnant. "Thanks, Berry, but I have to get these back to my mom just in case, you know, I got the wrong shirt or something. But uh, thanks, for the invitation."

Rachel's smile dropped a little. "That's alright. But you owe me a girl's night, Quinn. What are you doing this Wednesday?"

The ex-cheerleader racked her brain but was unable to come up with an excuse in time.

"Come to karaoke night with my parents," Rachel reached for Quinn's hands. She tried to ignore how warm the brunette's hands were. "It's actually really fun and just all around Berry crazy which, admit it, you secretly like the craziness. Please?"

Quinn opened and closed her mouth a couple times, each time trying to say _no_ until finally - "Ok."

Rachel's smiled widened. "Thank you, Quinn. I'll text you and give you the details, alright?"

Quinn nodded. "See you, soon Rachel. Bye, Puck."

"See you Quinn," Puck said and the two turned around to exit the mall, slinging his arm around the smaller girl's shoulders as she was talking of "beating the metaphorical crap out of you two boys at this game."

It was only once they were out of ear shot that Quinn realized she was going to half to spend the entire night with Berry household, with singing and probably dancing.

 _Damn_.

**_June 29, 2011_ **

Quinn appeared on the front porch of the Berry's house promptly at 7:30 p.m. Rachel had texted her earlier and told her to wear blue jeans and a simple top so Quinn opted for dark, ripped jeans and a white and black tank top - there weren't many other colors she could now wear that would go well with her hair.

She still had no idea what karaoke night entailed; Rachel refused to give details because she wanted it to be a "fun" surprise.

Rachel opened the front door with her ever present smile. "Hey, Quinn! Come in."

Quinn's jaw dropped when she took in what the brunette was wearing. She had on brown cowboy boots with light jeans tucked into them, a large brown belt buckle with a star as a buckle, and a white and light blue flannel with the buttons open to reveal a white cami underneath. On top of her head was a brown cowboy hat.

Quinn stepped in the door, eyes never leaving Rachel's figure. "Hi, Rachel - what are you wearing?"

Rachel laughed. "It's my cowgirl outfit. Speaking of which -" Rachel reached inside the closet by the door and pulled out a faded black cowboy hat and put it on top of Quinn's head "- you're going to need that."

"Whoa, hold on. I thought we are karaoking tonight."

"Don't worry, we are. Just... trust me, Quinn. You're going to fit in better if you wear that hat. Oh, hello daddy!"

A Jewish man with glasses walked towards the front door and a tall, muscular African-American man trailed behind him. They, too, were dressed up in cowboy gear.

The Jewish man kissed Quinn's cheek causing her to blush. "Hello, Quinn. I'm Hiram, and this here is my husband Leroy."

The dark man shook Quinn's hand and then stepped back to link hands with his husband. Quinn smiled at both of them. "Good evening, sirs. Nice to meet you both."

Leroy smiled back. "Ok, girls, let's get in the car. First one there chooses driving music." On his way out he smacked Hiram on the backside, making Quinn's eyes widen in surprise. She then felt Rachel loop her arm with hers.

"Let's go."

Half an hour later, Quinn and the Berrys pulled into a gravel parking lot in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of the parking lot was a building Quinn could only describe as being something she's seen in _Sweet Home Alabama_. It in the shape of a barn, but twice as big as one and a big neon sign in the front that said "Howdy's Food  & Mic." Country music was blaring from the inside loud enough to hear from the outside.

"This is not happening," Quinn groaned.

Once they walked into Howdy's, Quinn immediately knew that the Berrys come here regularly. One, they didn't wait for a hostess to seat them but walked to a table near stage where karaoke took place, and two, the bartender Katelyn knew Hiram's and Leroy's names and vise versa.

As Quinn sat next to Rachel, listening to an old man butchering "Living on a Prayer," she noticed that Hiram and Leroy never unclasped their hands. Quinn nervously glanced around, expected stink eyed glances of a homophobic slurs. Instead, she just saw people chatted at their tables or listening to the karaoke.

She opened the menu and folded her hands in her lap, feeling a bit more comfortable. "What is good here?" she asked Rachel.

"You're going to want to ask dad or daddy that question. They eat meat."

Rights as she was about to ask, the waitress came to the table with four glasses of water. After setting them down on the table, she began spouting out the orders which seemed memorized.

"Hey, everyone. Hiram, you still want the chicken fried steak? Check. Leroy, prime rib, rare? Gotcha. And my darling, the walnut and fruit salad? Good, the strawberries are very good today. And oh! You all brought a guest. What would you like?"

Quinn hadn't had a chance to thoroughly look through the whole menu so she looked at the two men for help. Leroy noticed.

"Quinn will take the Barbeque Chicken, I think. How does that sound?"

The ex-cheerleader shrugged. "Sure," she said and handed over her menu before the waitress walked away. "So, uh, you all come here a lot?"

"Every Wednesday," Hiram told her. "It's a way that Rachel gets to sing in front of more people. According to her, the more experiences and practice she has in different venues, the better chance she has at succeeding in her Broadway career."

"Hey!" interjected Rachel. "It's true! Many Broadway actors and actresses sing at bars and clubs on the weekends. Anyway," she continued, turning towards Quinn. "I made Finn come here once and I think it freaked him out a little. Granted, I made him dress up in full cowboy attire and I'm pretty sure that shook his self-confidence a bit; I let you off the hook."

Quinn chuckled. "I don't think I would have agreed to come if you had told me to appear in costume."

"You so would have Fabray," the brunette smirked just as the man singing on stage ended his song.

A small, bald man grabbed a microphone and stepped up on stage. "Hello everyone! I hope you are having a great evening.  And that is going to continue because the night has finally begun because Miss Rachel Berry is finally in attendance!"

Quinn was confused as the restaurant actually burst into cheers and claps. Rachel was blushing, as if this was the first time it happened. Quinn couldn't help but smile at her.

"Rachel Berry," the commentator said. "Are you ready?"

The brunette got up and grinned at Quinn before taking the small stage. "Hey everyone! I brought my friend Quinn, and she is in Glee Club with me. Now, I want you all to help me with something. I want her to come up here on stage with me and sing a duet. So, on three, please incessantly irritate her until she gives in a sings with me."

Quinn's eyes widened in panic and she clutched onto the table. Leroy laughed and patted her back in sympathy. "You might as well do it, Quinn. Otherwise, she will get the restraint riled up."

Quinn shook her head at Rachel. "No."

"One," Rachel began.

"No, Rachel!"

"Two."

"I can't!"

"Three!"

She continued to shout at Rachel, despite the attendees' chanting of "Quinn! Quinn! Quinn!" over and over again. Rachel remained on staged, arms crossed, tapping her foot while still grinning straight at the ex-cheerleader.  She finally sighed and jumped up on stage.

Rachel grabbed one of her hands. "Thank you Quinn! Everyone, give a big clap for her!"

The restaurant burst into another round of clapping. The Berry men continued to laugh.

Quinn buried her face in her empty hand. "I cannot believe you were able to do that."

Rachel leaned in close. "When I want, I can have the full attention and cooperation of a room. My personality and charisma is captivating, as you should already know."

 The singer's face was close enough to Quinn's that Quinn could feel the smaller girl's breath on her. Quinn's eyes unexpectedly shifted down to Rachel's lips which were just _right there..._

"You ready for this, Fabray?"

Quinn's eyes were brought back up to her eyes. "Bring it, Berry."

The beginning measures of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" began and Quinn couldn't help it when the corner of her mouth turned up into a smile as Rachel shook her finger at Quinn as she began the lyrics.

"I come home in the morning light,  
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"  
Oh, mother, dear,  
We're not the fortunate ones,  
And girls,  
They wanna have fu-un.  
Oh, girls,  
Just wanna have fun."

Rachel, still holding one of Quinn's hands, began jumping up and down. Quinn laughed and tugged Rachel back towards her as she began her verse.

"The phone rings in the middle of the night,  
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"  
Oh, daddy, dear,  
You know you're still number one,  
But girls,  
They wanna have fu-un,  
Oh, girls, just wanna have  
That's all they really want.....  
Some fun...."

Quinn, despite her efforts not to enjoy this, couldn't help it. As the customer's clapped along with the beat, she lifted her free hand in the air and danced a moment to herself, eyes closed, and her hand tightened in Rachel's as the brunette sung into the next verse.

"When the working day is done,  
Oh, girls,  
They wanna have fu-un,  
Oh, girls,  
Just wanna have fun....  
Girls,  
They want,  
Wanna have fun.  
Girls,  
Wanna have fun."

Quinn reached for Rachel's other hand and brought it up to her chest and brought the rest of Rachel's body close. The brunette quirked one of her eyebrows and Quinn grinned before stepping back, leaving room to twirl Rachel. Rachel squealed and Quinn took that as her cue to sing her part.

"Some boys take a beautiful girl,  
And hide her away from the rest of the world.  
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun.  
Oh, girls,  
They wanna have fu-un.  
Oh, girls,  
Just wanna have  
That's all they really want.....  
Some fun...."

Rachel brought Quinn back to her, this time to twirl Quinn. She spun once before stopping and latching her extra hand onto Rachel's shoulder. Without meaning to, Quinn had put them into a slow dance embrace. Rachel leaned forward, beaming, before quickly stepping away to start the chorus, which Quinn also began to sing.

"Girls just wanna have fu-un...  
They just wanna,  
They just wanna....  
They just wanna,  
They just wanna....  
Oh...  
They just wanna...  
They just wanna have fun...  
Girls just wanna have fu-un..."

Quinn and Rachel were now jumping up and down and singing into each other's faces. The ex-cheerleader couldn't remember the last time she was able to just _let go_ , to just have this one moment of uninhibited freedom.

Quinn also couldn't help but notice the way the smaller girl's fingers were laced perfectly with hers. Or how when Rachel is singing just for fun, and not for a competition, that her face lights up so much more.

Her breathing picked up, as did her pulse. Quinn's palms were now getting a bit sweaty, and she couldn't bring herself to tear eye gaze away from Rachel. Rachel didn't notice however, as her eyes were closed while singing the last few bars of the song.

They were no longer dancing or jumping, just standing on the stage as they finished the last part.

"They just wanna,  
They just wanna...  
When the working day is done..."

Rachel opened her eyes and in doing so, they bore right into Quinn's. The ex-cheerleader's breath caught in chest as those chocolate eyes peered into hazel.

The brunette brought Quinn in close and into a hug. Quinn closed her eyes, arms automatically wrapping around the tiny girl's waist again.

"Thank you, Quinn," whispered Rachel. "I told you you would have fun, didn't I?"

Quinn let go and nodded before retreating down the steps to head towards the table, hands slightly shaking. Leroy gave Quinn a look that she could only describe as curiosity. She tried to ignore it and kept her attention on Rachel who was now sitting on a stool singing. The atmosphere shifted and the lights even dimmed as the singer's voice filled the building.

"I thought I saw a man brought to life  
He was warm  
He came around and he was dignified  
He showed me what it was to cry  
Well you couldn't be that man I adored."

Quinn rested her chin on one hand and fixed her eyes on the girl on stage. She was now swaying back and forth on the stool with her eyes closed. Quinn wasn't even really paying attention to whatever the diva was singing - just the girl.

Rachel looked peaceful with the way the corners of her lips twitched into a smile, despite trying to stay in a melancholy mood for the song. Her whole face was lit up and Quinn couldn't look away and so she stared captivated, not caring that she could hear her heart thumping or tat her fingers were twitching at her side.

"I'm all out of faith  
This is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed  
Lying naked on the floor"

Leroy cleared his throat loudly, making Quinn jolt out of her trance. She locked eyes with Leroy who clearly had noticed her staring at Rachel. She stood up straight, trying not to be intimidated by the large man. "Thank you, Leroy, for inviting me. It's been fun."

"It's our pleasure, Quinn," he said. "You are welcome any time you wish."

Hiram dug into his chicken fried steak and Quinn sat uncomfortably, not knowing how to make small talk.

Quinn spotted a glint of gold around Leroy's neck and her eyes followed the gold chain down to a gold cross which hung from it. The sight made Quinn grasp her own cross necklace. She peered at Rachel again and shame and guilt washed over her, for a reason she could not pinpoint, so Quinn just clutched her cross even harder.

Leroy observed the girl gripping a cross necklace. "You religious?"

Her attention was snapped back to the big man. "Yes, sir. Well, I mean, I try to be, anyway."

He smiled and brought his necklace out into better lighting. "Me, too."

"But - how -" she struggled, trying to formulate a question, but didn't know how to without offending the man. Her father had beating into her mind for years that the men like the Berrys were going to Hell and there was no hope for them; heck, he even slapped that into her.

Leroy caught onto what she was trying to say. "How do I, as a gay man, have faith as a Christian?"

The ex-cheerleader gulped and then nodded.

"Illusion never changed  
Into something real  
I'm wide awake  
And I can see  
The perfect sky is torn"

Leroy was silent for a minute, his finger caressing his glass as he thought. Finally, he spoke.

"It's complicated. I love God and -" his eyes zeroed back onto Rachel who was still swaying on the stool before returning back to the conversation at hand, "- He loves me, too. Quinn, to Him I'm not Leroy; a gay man. I'm just Leroy. I can tell you more, sometime, but I really don't think this is a good venue for this type of conversation."

The man stole one of his husband's french fries before relaxing back into his chair to finish watching his daughter's performance.

Quinn's fingers continued to clutch her cross as Rachel's voice became muddled as thoughts, memories, and images of hand holding, chocolate eyes, Russell Fabray, and a cross all blurred in her mind.

 _To Him, I'm not Leroy; a gay man. I'm just Leroy_. But what did that even mean?

She has never been able to be _just Quinn_. Her whole life had been designed by label. It had to be Quinn the Cheerleader, or Quinn the Christian, or Quinn the Pregnant Teenager or Quinn the Disappointment, or, even worse, Quinn _Fabray_.

She had spent _years_ trying to live up to people's standards: her church, her father, her mother, Sue, the school, and for some man who is an outcast in Lima to tell her that being himself is _ok_ -

How does that even work?

Quinn was jerked out of her thoughts when her ears filled with clapping. She quickly stood up with Leroy, Hiram and the rest of the restaurant as Rachel did a small bow, her face beaming.

She jumped off the stage and hopped back down next to Quinn. "So, how was I?"

Wonderful, splendid and magnificent!" Hiram declared dramatically and Quinn definitely knew he was the one Rachel got her flare from.

Leroy just shook his head at his husband with a small smile before answering Rachel. "You did great, honey."

"What'd you think, Quinn?" asked Rachel curiously.

Although she had missed out on the second half of the song, Quinn remembered back to the first verse and chorus, when she watched Rachel singing with such peace that her face seemed to glow and Quinn could only reply with one word.

"Perfect."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I am like Tinkerbell and need reviews to live. Please?
> 
> And you can follow me at seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com, seekingoutfri.livejournal.com, or www.fanfiction.net/u/2838998/seekingoutfriday
> 
> Thanks to my beta reader Natalie!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who are reading! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**_The Same Night_ **

She watched Rachel dance around the kitchen, hopping up to grab bowls from the cabinet only to have Leroy help her reach them with a smirk on his face. The singer swapped her father in the arm before spinning around back to Quinn who sat at the marble counter. She handed the ex-cheerleader the bowl of chocolate ice cream (Rachel had her own special vegan desert) before plopping herself on the stool next to Quinn.

After Hiram had made Leroy sing a duet of _I Got You Babe,_ the crew had called it quits and now sat back in the Berry household. It was a little past 10 p.m., and Quinn was told that the Berrys always have ice cream after karaoke night before heading to bed.

Quinn dug into her ice cream silently. The men stood on the other side of the counter and Quinn watched them curiously as they interacted. Hiram was chastising Leroy about being flat throughout the whole of _I Got You Babe_. Leroy caught Quinn's eye and nodded towards the Jewish man while rolling his eyes.

"You did not just roll your eyes at me, Le-" but he was cut off as the tall man quickly kissed him.

"You didn't marry me for my singing voice, Hir," Leroy stated. The two men continued to quietly bicker, but Quinn's eyes still seemed to fixate on them.

She was waiting for one of them to raise their voice, or for a hand to be raised, but instead she watched as the corner of Leroy's lips twitched up as if refraining himself from smiling and she noticed Hiram absent mindedly eat from Leroy's ice cream bowl in between sentences. But somehow as Quinn watched them argue - now over whether or not Cher is an icon - she couldn't help but notice that they _fit._ And Quinn didn't _get that_.

Suddenly, she felt an elbow nudge her in the side.

"You ok, Quinn?" Rachel asked her after agreeing with Hiram that Cher is indeed an icon - _she has an EGOT!_

Quinn glanced quickly at Rachel, then back to the two men who had now ventured to the other side of the kitchen too engrossed in their own conversation. "Yeah, I am. It's just... this is weird."

She felt the brunette stiffen behind her. "Quinn, I can assure you that just because -"

Quinn quickly cut her off. "I'm not - it's just -," she ran her fingers through her hair, struggling to find the words to describe what she was actually thinking. "I'm not saying it's a _bad_ weird, Rachel. I'm just not used to..."

Quinn fell silent and tried to focus on her ice cream but could feel Rachel eyes still on her. She sighed. "I'm not used to this type of family situation. They - your dads work well together. Even now. I just - you know  - it's weird."

She knew Rachel's eyes would pity, so Quinn refused to look at Rachel, especially as she heard her say "Quinn..." softly. But whatever Rachel wanted to say, the diva was cut off as Hiram called the girls' attention.

"So Quinn," began Hiram. "What are your plans for Fourth of July?"

"I go with my parents every year to their country club, but, well, this year it's just me and my mom going..." she said shifting uncomfortably on the stool. "The party is sort of ridiculous, but it's tradition so, I'm still sort of required to go."

"Oh well, I bet they have great food at the club," Hiram replied, trying to ignore the uncomfortable air that surrounded them now as Quinn clearly didn't want to talk about her father or mother.

"It can't all be ridiculous," said Leroy as he took everyone's bowls to put them in the sink. "There has to be something you like about it."

Quinn racked her brain for something positive about the club's party. "My dad and I would used to light sparklers together right before the fireworks," she said quietly. Quinn doesn't know why but she feels compelled to tell them. "When I was really young, anyway. He would chase me around with them. We haven't done that for years, now, though."

"Why haven't you done that in the past few years?"

Quinn locked eyes with Leroy before quickly glancing down.

_"She needs to shape up, Judy! I can't keep treating her like a little kid!"_

_"She is only eleven, Russ! She still_ is _a kid! Just let her go to the party looking how she looks. It is fun for her."_

 _"Fun?" Quinn heard her father growl. "She looks bizarre! I do not want her parading around the families like that. If we keep letting her go on with these outlandish impulses, we are going to lose her, Judy. Like that McDowell's kid. They let him have a chest of dress up clothes. They let him have fun with it for years and guess what he is doing now? He's on a tour of some sick show called_ Spring Awakening _."_

_"It's just a little face make up," her mother's voice grew quieter. "She watched a movie about a circus. She just wanted to look like a clown for a moment, to let her imagination free."_

_Quinn, who sat around the corner listening, cupped her face, able to feel the roughness of the blue and white face paint._

_"She needs to stop with all this! I don't want her to take anymore painting classes during the summer, or acting in the school plays. She should focus on her reading and her mathematics and athletics."_

_The young blonde played with her braid as she heard her mother mumbled something in reply. There was a shuffle of feet and her mother swiftly walked past her and into the garage to get in the car. She looked up to her father towering over her._

_"Quinn, go wash off the face paint. Now. We'll be waiting in the car for you. You have five minutes."_

_She quickly stood up. "Yes, daddy."_

_He turned to go out the garage as well but stopped as he heard his daughter speak again. "You're not taking the sparklers with you, dad?"_

_He paused at the door. "Not this year, Quinn. I think you and I should sit with the rest of the adults and watch the fireworks. Ok?"_

_Quinn nodded. Russell opened his mouth but quickly closed it - Quinn didn't know what he wanted to say. Instead, he kissed his daughter's forehead before heading to the car. Quinn left for the bathroom and scrubbed at her face, watching the colors mix together before swirling down the drain._

Quinn shrugged. "I don't know."

Hiram and Leroy quickly glanced at each other before announcing that it was time for the two of them to head to bed because they had to be at work early in the morning.

Rachel led Quinn past the living room and down the hall to her bedroom. When the brunette opened the door, Quinn was hit with a wave of pink, although it was less pink than she originally thought there would be. She watched as the diva rummaged through her closet, throwing an extra pillow on the quilted bed and then pulled out pajama tops and bottoms.

"The bathroom is down the hall to your left," Rachel said pointing. "We had passed it. Extra towels are in the linen closet, and you'll find a spare toothbrush in the sink drawer as well. Um -" Rachel bit her lip, eyes darting toward the full sized bed. "If you would like, I can get a sleeping bag and sleep on the floor. I had originally just planned for you to sleep with me in my bed but now that I think about it, I wasn't thinking about how you would feel about that."

Quinn took the extra pair of pajamas. "It's fine, Rachel. I used to have to share a bed with Santana and Brittany at sleepovers. Trust me, if I can handle that, I feel like I can sleep in a bed with you for one night." She cocked her heads at the brunette, smiling, trying to ease Rachel's nervousness.

Rachel smiled softly back at her. "Ok. Guest first. So the bathroom is all yours."

Quinn nodded and walked out of the room. The bathroom door was closed, so Quinn leaned against the wall, waiting for whomever to get done. She heard the sink water running and then shut off. The door opened and Leroy stepped out.

"Oh, hello Quinn. I didn't know you were waiting. Hiram takes forever to get ready in the master bathroom."

"It's fine, Mr. Berry -"

"-Leroy-"

"-Leroy. I wasn't waiting long."

Leroy tightened the belt on his robe and stepped away from the door so Quinn could walk in. Just as Quinn about shut the bathroom door behind her, she was stopped.

"Hey, Quinn."

She peered out the doorway. "Yes, sir?"

"The church I go to, we have our services on Saturday nights. If you ever want to come, give me a call and I'll come pick you up."

Quinn opened and closed her mouth a few times before responding. "Ok. I'll - I'll think about that."

The man shrugged. "You don't have to promise me anything. Just know the offer stands."

"Thank you," she said, gripping the door frame.

The man walked away and Quinn brushed her teeth and changed into Rachel's pajamas. The red pants were too short and showed her ankles. She quietly re-entered Rachel's room, but the singer was nowhere to be found.

She took the opportunity to peer around Rachel's room. It was almost bare. The was a large daisy on the wall opposite her bed but aside from that, the walls only had pink paint. She walked to the white dresser which had a large mirror balancing on it. Plastered on it were a few photographs. One, which Quinn assumed was taken by one of the Berry men, was in black and white. It was of Rachel walking down the aisle at sectionals their sophomore year, clearly belting out _Don't Rain On My Parade_. Along the left side of the mirror were three other photos. One of Kurt and Rachel in semi-formal wear in front of the Gershwin Theatre. Their hands were clasped and excitement etched in their faces. Above that was a photo of Finn and Rachel; Finn with his goofy smile and his arms about the girl.

The next photo Quinn thought was odd. It was of Rachel, Finn, and Puck all sitting on a couch with Rachel sitting on Finn's lap but her feel laying on Puck's legs. Quinn noticed both boys looking at Rachel while Rachel smiled at the camera obliviously. The only other photo Quinn saw on the mirror was one of her and her dads but she swore she has seen that same picture in the diva's locker.

Quinn about looked away when she noticed a picture folded in half in the top right hand corner of the mirror. Quinn quickly looked around the room, making sure Rachel was still not there. She took the photo down to see what is was; three people were present. Rachel, a boy with wavy light hair, and a woman striking the same resemblance as Rachel; Jesse St. James and Shelby Corcoran. Shelby sat at a piano while Jesse and Rachel stood to the side of it with Jesse's arm around the girl's shoulders. Quinn didn't think anyone in the photograph looked extremely happy.

"Don't tell Finn I have that, please."

Quinn's breath went away. She dropped the picture and quickly spun around to see that Rachel was right behind her. "Hi. I wasn't prying or anything. Well, maybe I was but - I'm sorry."

Rachel wasn't looking at Quinn but eyeing the photo which had falling on top of the dresser. She gingerly picked it up before folding it in half again.

"That was taken after I found out who she was," Rachel explained. "It was before the egging incident."

The girl slipped it back into the corner of the mirror. "It is the only picture I have of Shelby," she said softly. "It's not like that is a happy memory. None of the Glee Club really knows what happened with the three of us."

Rachel's back was now to the mirror and she was facing Quinn. "Jesse actually came clean to me about him and Shelby and me. That is actually what is happening in that picture. He wanted to tell Shelby that he was done with the charade. A student was going around the Carmel campus taking year book photos and snapped that. When the girl found out I didn't go to the school, she sent the picture to Jesse who reluctantly sent it to me." Rachel gulped before continuing. "Please don't tell Finn. He'll get jealous that I still have a picture of Jesse. And the picture isn't even about Jesse. It's - It's just all I have of Shelby. I mean, it hurts to look at, so I don't, but a part of me is glad I have it."

Quinn stood silently, her eyes searching Rachel' face. She didn't know what to say.

The two stood there for a couple minutes, letting the silence surround them before Quinn finally broke it. "Why did you tell me all that? That was kind of personal, Rachel."

Rachel titled her head at Quinn. "We're friends. Friends tell each other things, don't they?"

"We're not _that_ good of friends," she scoffed.

Rachel shook her head and then tugged at Quinn's hand, leading them to the bed. Rachel sat in the middle of it, crossing her legs. "We could be really good friends, Quinn. I mean, we have the makings of an epic friendship."

Quinn sat down next to her. "I don't, I don't know how to say this, Rachel, but I've been a bitch to you for the first two years of high school. I don't mean just being bitchy, but full blown cruel. Those drawings in the bathroom? Yeah. Or the slushies. You know I was a part of that. And all the names I've called you. How does that equate to an 'epic friendship'?"

"I've forgiven you for all that Quinn," said Rachel, squeezing Quinn's knee. "And, I mean, it's not like I've been a saint either."

Quinn snorted. "Yeah, going after Finn when I was with him - twice - and also telling him about the paternity of the baby did kind of suck. But that just makes all this harder."

For some reason, this just made Rachel smile wider. "Actually, it just makes more sense for us to be friends. I mean, all that we've been through together - all that we've done _to_ each other and _for_ each other - and here we are still. I mean, we've shared two of the same guys. We wrote a song together. We've gone from opposite realms of the school hierarchy to glee loser. _You gave your daughter to my mother_. I mean, no matter what we've put each other through, at the end of the day, I still know that will tell me I'm bigger than Lima. And I'll still be the one telling you are more than a pretty face."

Quinn stared at the ceiling. The diva just didn't _get_ it. Quinn didn't _want_ to be friends. She _couldn't_. The two can't stand each - except for when they could. Quinn was the one who, back in freshman year threw the first slushie for some unexplained reason. She was the one to write horrible comments on Rachel's video. Quinn stills feels queasy when she rereads those comments when she's feeling masochistic. She was the one to draw pornographic pictures of Rachel just to demean the girl because -

Because -

Because Rachel was stuck up.

Because she was selfish.

Because she needed to know her place.

Because her voice was filled with hope and optimism.

Because she was talented.

Because she was brave and caring.

Because she was driven and smart.

Because she was who Quinn wished she had the courage to be.

Because she was absolutely breath-taking - even if Quinn didn't want to acknowledge it.

_I don't hate you._

_You are_ never _going to get it right._

 _I'm_ so _sorry._

_You're a very pretty girl Quinn. The prettiest girl I've ever met. But you're a lot more than that._

_...You're a lot more than that._

 Tears pricked at Quinn's eyes. Her chest was constricting and she suddenly felt Rachel's hand cup her face and turn it towards the singer.

"Quinn, look at me."

She hated how her head once against titled into the singer's warmth. She reluctantly opened her eyes and was met with Rachel's chocolate ones.

"Quinn, I want to be your friend. So _let_ me."

Quinn just stared at Rachel, nails digging into her palm. "Your eyes are beautiful," Quinn said. She scrunched her face, having no idea why that came out of her mouth.

The diva chuckled and ran her hand up and down Quinn's arm. "You ready to sleep?"

Quinn nodded and crawled to the side of the bed. She felt the bed dip right beside her. The hairs on the arms were close enough to touch each other and Quinn stiffened, not sure how to move. They both lay there one there back for a good ten minutes before Quinn's breathing became heavy as Rachel turned her body so it was now facing Quinn on the bed.

Her eyes roamed over Rachel, whose eyes were closed as the girl was trying to fall asleep. Quinn had an urge to run her fingers through the dark hair to lift the bangs out of Rachel's face, but she resisted. She took a heavy breath to try to control her erratic breathing as Rachel's body seemed to inch closer to Quinn.

The urge to touch the diva wasn't new to Quinn, but it didn't mean she was going to give into that urge.

Finally, she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the desire of her fingers want to reach out for Rachel's. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are greatly appreciated! Rachel Berry and I share one thing in common - we both need applause to live. So, review?
> 
> Thank you to my beta reader Natalie. You can follow her at nataliving.tumblr.com
> 
> And follow me at seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com
> 
> And for those who like livejournal or FF.net, here are the links as well: seekingoutfri.livejournal.com and fanfiction.net/u/2838998/seekingoutfriday


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my beta reader Natalie
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

**_July 4, 2011_ **

It was already getting dark as Quinn and Judy pulled up in the gravel parking lot surrounding the white and red bricked club building. On the front was a large red, white and blue banner draped from doorway to doorway. Quinn took a deep breath before stepping out of the car. She hadn't been back to this country club since being pregnant - she was allowed to skip last summer to let people "forget that she had a baby a couple months ago."

She really wasn't ready to face all the families' judging eyes.

Her mother walked quietly beside her - both listening to the sound of their feet crunching on the pebbles.

"Quinn," Judy began as they made their way around the building and to the back, "I know this may be uncomfortable for you, but please just be polite and respectful, alright?"

Quinn scoffed. "So if Mrs. Harrison asks how my trip to wedlock was, I have to say nothing?"

"Please," the older lady said, sounding more like a demand than asking.

Quinn kicked a rock and said nothing, following her mom to the large white gazebo where people were gathered. She noticed a few of the elderly women look her up and down - if having a child at sixteen wasn't enough to make them stare, then her pink hair and dark clothes definitely are.

She ignored the whispers as her mother squeezed her arm in what she assumed was a gesture of reassurance and dragged her to greet a couple of women on the bench who were wearing the Fourth of July t-shirt that Quinn bought.

"Hello ladies!" Judy said greeting them before the women stood up to embrace her in a hug. Quinn stood awkwardly to Judy's side trying not to roll her eyes.

The woman currently hugging Judy - Mrs. Jenkins - released the older blonde and turned to Quinn. "Oh! Hello, Quinn. You look... different. Youthful, anyway."

Quinn raised her eyebrows at Mrs. Jenkins as the lady continued. "You should go join the other kids - they're over there by the pond," she said, nodding in their direction.

"Will do," the ex-cheerleader replied before give them a small wave.

By the pond was a group of about six teenagers - Quinn knew all but two as their parents were regular club and church attendees. However, Quinn had not seen them since early sophomore year. She braced herself before integrating herself in their circle.

"Hey," she said to no one in particular. The teens all rustled their feet, some of them looking Quinn and the eye and some not. Finally, a dark haired girl with freckles covering her face presented her hand to Quinn.

"Hi," she greeted shaking hands with Quinn. "I don't know if you remember me, but I'm -"

"Emily," Quinn interrupted with a smile. "I remember you. You actually go to McKinley, don't you?"

"Uh, yea," Emily said a bit frazzled. "Junior."

Quinn nodded. "I thought so. I'm also pretty sure our dads were golf buddies -" she clamped her mouth shut. Emily opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it as well, knowing of the Fabray's divorce.

Quinn shuffled her feet, trying to ignore Emily's stare when she felt a tapping on her shoulder. "What -" she began before being enveloped in a hug.

"Quinn!" a deep, muffled voice exclaimed.

She wiggled loose of the boy's arms and took a step back to look at who had just squeezed her. In front of her was a raven haired boy with poofed up hair and muscular arms. He wore a light blue Abercrombie and Fitch v-neck which showed off his muscular chest and his face wore a toothy grin which was directed at her.

"Oh my gosh!" Quinn exclaimed, realizing who it was. "Michael! I haven't seen you since, what, eighth grade?"

She tugged on the guy's arm and brought him back into a quick hug. Emily eyed them both with curiosity.

"Yea," Michael laughed. "I moved back here to live with my dad. You know Dalton Academy? They have the top baseball team for private schools in the State, and they recruited me. It'll help me with chances of a ball scholarship, so I'm back in Lima."

"That's great," Quinn replied, still smiling. _Maybe this evening won't be too bad_. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you, too. What have you been up to, you know, besides being... pink...?"

Quinn chuckled and scratched her head and walked along the edge of the pond alone with Michael.

"I've been -" she paused, wondering what she should say. Michael had his hands in his pockets, but his eyes never left Quinn's face and his smile seemed genuine. "I've been pregnant."

The boy stumbled forward in surprise, coughing. He stopped and pounded his chest as his eyes widened. "Whoa, ok, did not see that coming."

Quinn shrugged. "You were going to hear it from someone here, so it might as well have been from me."

They had both stopped walking. Quinn wrapped her arms around herself and took a step back, not knowing how this was going to go. Michael licked his lips and let out a breath Quinn didn't know he had been holding in.

"I'm not - I'm not freaked or anything," he told her and Quinn allowed herself to relax a little. "I am surprised, I will admit but... stuff happens."

He paused before flashing her a grin again. "Hormones happen."

"Shut up," she said, rolling her eyes as she slapped him on the shoulder.

"You know, I used to have the biggest crush on you back in -" he started before he was interrupted by Emily running up to them.

"Hey you two," the freckled girl addressed them both. "My cousin is here with a friend and I'm supposed to make them feel welcome which means you need to come and say hi. Please? And thanks."

She grabbed Quinn by the arm as Michael mouthed _Sorry!_ at her.

Emily pushed Quinn towards the two new girls but her foot caught on a rock and she stumbled into the taller one, her hand latching onto the girl's arm.

"I am so sorry about that," Quinn apologized. "Tripped - totally that rock's fault."

The girl unlatched Quinn's hand from her arm. "No problem. Rocks do that to people."

Quinn stepped back to take in whom she was supposed to be meeting. The girl was maybe an inch taller than her with long brown hair which had a thick blonde streak in the front. She wore a black tank top which did nothing to cover up the tattoos on her biceps. _She looks oddly familiar..._

The girl bit her lip and shamelessly let her eyes travel up and down Quinn, noticeably stopping at the chest area. Quinn stood still, trying to look anywhere but at the girl.

The girl moved her head so she was in Quinn's line of sight.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Pat Nichols."

Quinn gawked. "Pat? Pat Nichols? As in the Pat who moved to Michigan?"

Pat shrugged. "The one and only."

Quinn's heart pounded. She hadn't seen this girl since sixth grade - hadn't _talked_ to her since fifth. She _definitely_ did not look the same.

"Oh, well I'm -"

"Quinn Fabray," Pat finished for her, stepping closer to Quinn. "Of course I remember you. Different hair and clothes, but your eyes are the same - stunning."

Quinn gaped at the girl and noticed how alone they were. Michael had gone off to help his father set up lawn chairs for the firework show as the sun had now completely set and the other girl that was previously with Pat was with Emily by the gazebo.

"Um - I - I -" the ex-blonde stuttered. "Th-thanks, I guess."

She gulped, the proximity of the two girls close enough that she could hear the brunette's breathing.

Pat chuckled. "It _was_ a compliment, don't worry."

The girl was now tracing Quinn's arms with her fingers and her breath hitched as those fingers reach her wrist, making circles on the inside.

"Why are you back here in Ohio?" Quinn questioned.

"Family vacation," Pat stated. "Visiting Emily and my aunt and uncle."

"Oh." Quinn gulped as Pat's other hand now rested on her waist. Pat smirked as Quinn's skin broke out in goose bumps.

 _What is she doing?_  Quinn wondered, but found herself not moving away. Pat's hand radiated warmth which seemed to spread all over her skin but - _then what is with the shivers?_

The other girl whom Pat was previously with - a curly red head - caught Quinn's eye from a distance.

"And who is the other girl?"

Pat glanced at the red head, nodded in her direction before placing her attention back on Quinn.

"Amy.  She my sort of girlfriend, I guess."

"Girlfriend?" Quinn whispered as Pat's hands were now clasped around both of Quinn's wrists which should seemed like a dominating gesture but for some reason Quinn found it very intimate - and therefore unnerving.

Pat cocked her head. "Yeah. That shouldn't surprise you, Quinnnie Dear."

Quinn's brain was going crazy and her heart seemed to be pumping violently enough to break out of her chest. She tried to steady her breathing when she remembered what Pat said right before.

"What do you mean 'sort of'?"

Pat leaned her head forward, her lips grazing Quinn's ear and the pink-haired girls could feel the puffs of breath on her skin.

"It means," Pat breathed, "that we like to have _fun_ together when we want to."

They were close enough now that their whole bodies touched - breast to breast, hip to hip - and Quinn couldn't bring herself to step away. It felt _good_ and Quinn's mind ached with that knowledge that this closeness with a _girl_ felt good.

"You know," the brunette continued, "if things went the way they should have, we would be having some fun right now."

Quinn could feel her pulse racing. She knew she should back away, run, but the girl's breath felt warm on Quinn's skin and made her eye lids flutter in a way they really shouldn't -

Pat's hand was suddenly in Quinn's pocket and Quinn squeaked as the brunette dug around for her cell phone. Still skin-to-skin with Quinn, Pat inserted some numbers on the phone and shoved it back in Quinn's back pocket.

"My number, just in case you feel like calling me," Pat told a wide-eyed Quinn.

"Um -"

" _Quinn_."

The ex-cheerio ripped herself away from the girl with a strangled gasp as she heard someone call her name off to the side. Her mother stood about ten feet away from the two girls, two red plastic cups in her hands. Judy Fabray's eyes danced back and forth between Pat and her daughter, lips slightly parted, until they finally settled on Quinn.

"Hello dear, but I must take my daughter now," the older woman addressed Pat, her words laced with an unnatural niceness. "I got you some lemonade, Quinn. Say good bye to your friend; we need to go sit down for the fireworks."

Pat cocked an eyebrow at Quinn and Quinn gave her a tiny wave before turning her back, following her mother.

The two walked in silence. Judy handed Quinn her cup but said nothing, not even looking Quinn in the eye. Quinn clenched her fists, not sure what just happened back there and nervous about what will happen when they arrived home.

Quinn sat in a daze during the fireworks show. She normally liked this part, but instead her heart ached with guilt and her mother still had not spoken to her - she talked to everyone around her, but not her daughter. Before she knew it, the show was over. The ride back to the house seemed to never end.

"Hey, mom -" the daughter tried when they were on the road, but Judy shook her head, clearly not wanted to talk.

Quinn rested her head on the car door window and closed her eyes, hoping that somehow that darkness would take away the deafening silence.

**_July 5, 2011  
12:02 a.m._ **

The two women arrive home shortly after midnight. Quinn trudged upstairs to her room and flopped on the bed. Tears prickled at the eyes and she had no idea why - it's not the first a parent refused to talk to her. And it's not like it was even the first time her mother was silent on _this_ particular topic. It seemed strange that her mother did not even know that the girl was Pat from Quinn's elementary school and yet somehow the girl had reduced Judy to fear and silence. Like the last time when Judy remained quiet as Russell yelled and raised his hand...

She turned over on her back and stared at the ceiling. That was the first time she had talked to Pat since February of fifth grade. The last time she had _seen_ her was in sixth grade, right before Pat's family moved to Michigan because of job opportunities.

Quinn remembered thinking Pat was cute back then - _she can appreciate a girl's beauty..._ \- but now she looked beautiful. Quinn thought about just a couple of hours ago and how her fingers itched to run along the girl's tattoos and run her fingers through -

She had to stop thinking like that.

Quinn huffed and flung herself back out of bed, trying to take her mind off the party. Her eyes strayed to  her bulletin board which was full of pictures over the last few years - some of the cheerios, prom, Puck, Finn, and Sam, her sister, and even Glee.

She moved forward, staring at the Glee Club photo. It was right after sectionals her sophomore year - she was still pregnant, but glowing. The club was in a big group hug, with Mr. Shuester in the middle holding the first place trophy.

Quinn smiled. That was not the best of times - Finn had just found out the baby was not his - but the competition was exhilarating and the win was a moment to be proud of.

She peered closer at the photo. Her younger self was not looking at the trophy, Puck, or even Finn. Quinn followed her line of sight and what photo-Quinn was looking at, on the other side of the group hug, was Rachel.

Quinn scrunched her eyes, never noticing this before. Her finger traced the tiny Rachel, who seemed even smaller in a big group. This made Quinn smile, almost as big a smile as she had in the photograph. She took her phone out, pausing at the new number she just received, before moving onto text another brunette.

 **To Rachel:** Hope you have a great 4th of July, Berry :)

Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door.

Quinn turned around as her mother walked in, wringing her hands.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Just - just looking at some old photos," she said pointing to the bulletin board.

Judy nodded, not seeming interested in the small talk. "Well, I'm heading to bed. Thank you for being respectful of everyone at the get-together. Sleep well, I'll see you in the morning."

"Wait," Quinn called out, taking two strides towards her mother. "Can we- can we talk about tonight? I'm sorry if -"

She was cut off as her mother held up her hand to stop Quinn. "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just forget anything about - about that person in particular or what I _may_ have seen.  Let's both go to bed. Please."

Quinn pursed her lips. "Ok, I - ok, good night."

Judy shut the door quietly behind her and Quinn, growling, tangled her hands in her hair in frustration, kicking the door which loudly rattled it. She quickly put her palms to it, steadying it, before resting her forehead against it. She breathed in and out, trying to settle her emotions. In. Out. In. Out.

Sleep was supposed to be a welcome bliss. Quinn should have known better than that.

_"Why'd you stop talking to me, Quinn?" The brunette with the blonde streak asked. Quinn, blonde, sat with her in the old fifth grade classroom, each sitting on top of the desks because they girls were now too large to fit in the chairs._

_"I liked you," continued Pat. "You knew that. Why'd you just shut me out?"_

_The blonde's eyes began to tear up. "I didn't want to. But my dad kind of made me. You have to believe me on that."_

_"So you played daddy's innocent little girl and made me a fool? Because I thought you liked me, too."_

_"I did!" yelled Quinn. "I did like you. But I wasn't supposed to, ok? Russell, he really did not like it. I just - what was I supposed to do?"_

_"What you were supposed to do?" Pat asked incredulously. "You were supposed to do what you wanted to do. Screw your dad and your mom. So you liked a girl. It shouldn't matter to them, only you."_

_The blonde violently shook her head. "No, it does matter._ Everything I know _says I was wrong. Everything. So yes, it mattered. Still matters."_

 _Pat jumped off the small desk and headed towards the door to the classroom. "You won't be happy until you start doing whatever the hell it is you want to do. Stop trying to fight those feelings so hard. It'll make a lot of things easier. Especially with_ her _."_

_The girl disappeared out the door._

_"With who?" Quinn yelled after her. "Who?"_

_Quinn ran towards the door, only to have it shut right in her face._

_"Pat!" she screamed, pounding her fists on the wood. "Pat! Open it! Who are you talking about? Who -"_

_The door creaked open and Quinn peered around it, only to be met with another brunette; but no blonde streak and a shorter stature._

_"She's talking about me," the new girl stated._

_Without even a moment's hesitation, Quinn pulled the girl towards her so their bodies were flush against each other. The blonde palmed the back of the brunette's head and caught her mouth in a kiss, right before noticing those chocolate eyes darken._

_"Rachel," Quinn moaned. "Rachel, where have you been -"_

Quinn's arms darted out to her night stand to grab her phone as the buzzing of its vibrations woke her up. She rubbed her eyes, trying to will her heart to slow down.

 **Rachel:** Thank you for the 4th of July wishes! I had a marvelous time. How was yours?

Quinn dropped the phone the moment she saw Rachel's name.

_It'll make a lot of things easier. Especially with her._

_Bodies - mouths - hands - tongues - deep brown eyes -_

_Rachel -_

"Oh my god," Quinn whispered.

Her palms were becoming sweaty and she tried to wipe them off on her t-shirt .Panic was now rising in her chest and she jumped out of bed and darted down the hall to her bathroom. Without even bothering to turn on the light, Quinn splashed her face with water. She heaved over the sink, hands clenching  tiled edge as she tried to force the panic to subside. Water dripped down her face, and she didn't know what amount of it were tears and what was the sink water.

She did know, though, that is had been Rachel in her dreams - the girl invading her nightly thoughts. The girl whom she just _finally_ became friends with.

Quinn whimpered.

"Oh my god."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all who are reading! Don't forget to review! The good AND the bad.   
> For those of you who want to know, I can also be found at http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2838998/seekingoutfriday and seekingoutfri.livejournal.com  
> Also, follow me on tumblr at seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee  
> Song: Fin by Anberlin
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing!

She's been ignoring Rachel.

It's not like she is _actively_ ignoring her calls, but whenever Rachel's name appears on the screen of Quinn's phone, she just... freezes.

That night - _that night_ \- she had dropped her phone with a clank onto the bathroom tiles. Quinn didn't even get to read Rachel's message before she had curled herself into the fetal position, trying to steady her breath. Rachel had been the one in her dreams, the girl haunting her at night, the girl with chocolate brown eyes and silky hair and _legs_ \- well, the girl now has a face.

Quinn has had dreams every night since the party. All of them involving Rachel. In some of her dreams, Quinn and Rachel are just talking. Sometimes they are dancing and sometimes the two girls are in... _intimate_ _positions._

One night, she dreamt she was being hauled up a hill, carrying her own rugged cross. She could feel the wood dig against her back as she limped pass kids from McKinley who spat and yelled at her all the way up. At the top of the hill, two guardsmen hoisted her up so she was no longer standing. Quinn heard the sound of metal meeting metal before actually feeling the bone-wrenching pain of the rusted nails being impaled through her wrists.

_Take what you will, what you will and leave.  
Could you kill, could you kill me  
If the world was on fire and nothing was left but hope or desire  
And take all that I could bring forth, is this hell  
Or am I on the floor over-desperate?_

Through Quinn's blurry vision she was able to see Rachel being the one nailing her to the cross, gentling singing as if the music would make Quinn's misery go away.

_Hold hands streaming of blood again?  
And then take full weight of me  
Guard my dreams, figure this out,   
It's me on my own.   
Helpless, hurting, hell  
Will you stay strong as you promised?  
Cause I'm stranded and bare._

In the distance, Quinn spotted Russell. He looked older, with more wrinkles and gray than she had ever seen him. He held up his Bible, and she saw him shouting, but the sound never made it to Quinn's ears.

_We're not questioning God  
Just those he chose to carry on His cross  
We're no better, you'll see  
Just all of us, the lost causes. _

Tears cascaded Quinn's face as blood poured from her wrists and ankles; she was losing oxygen from being unable to support herself. The world started to fade but she could still her Rachel's voice.

_I am the patron saint of lost causes  
Aren't we all to you just near lost causes?  
Aren't we all to you just lost_

Quinn found it ironic that her punishment for being a sinner was to be nailed up on a cross by a girl with the voice of an angel.

Quinn never liked irony.

She woke up from that dream, gasping for breath before rushing to the bathroom and retching into the toilet. Her knuckles were turning white from the grip on the toilet seat as she refused to let go, as if her grasp on this one solid thing was going to be the thing to save her.

After what felt like half an hour, Quinn finally slumped down and slowly let go of her vice-like grip on the toiler lid. She flushed and tore some toilet paper to wipe her mouth, stopping midway as she heard knocking.

"Quinn?" Judy questioned, rapping her knuckles on the bathroom door. "Quinnie, what's going on?"

Quinn closed her eyes, wishing for the pounding in her head to go away. "I'm fine mom. Just a bad dream."

Quinn was met with silence and she thought her mother had gone back to bed until -

"Do - do you need a glass of water?"

The ex-cheerio shook her head before realizing her mother could not see her. "No, I'm really ok. I just want to go back to sleep."

"Alright."

Quinn heard shuffling outside the door and she assumed her mother left. She rinsed her mouth out and with a sniffle returned to her room. She whimpered as she crawled into bed and turned off the lamp.

See, it's not so much that she is actively ignoring Rachel or even wanting to but that the girl is already in Quinn's head too much; Quinn wanted the brunette out. Not out of her life, but out of her head.

As Quinn lay on her back, her cross necklace lay heavier on her chest and its chain felt tighter around her neck.

_Meanness is washed up in all that I am is God  
Take this and all, Then grace takes me to a place  
Of the father you never had  
Ripping and breaking and tearing apart  
This is not heaven  
This is my hell._

**_July 8, 2011_ **

Quinn had yet gone swimming this summer, so she happily accepted the invitation to a Glee Club pool party at Mercedes' house. She had not seen the girl all summer and was looking forward to hanging out.

She opened the gate to the back yard where she was met with an uproarious hello. All of the gleeks minus Rachel and Finn were already there; Mike and Tina versus Sam and Brittany playing chicken in the pool (Tina growls as she takes down Brittany), with Santana standing at the side of the pool sipping lemonade. Kurt was lounging on a towel watching as Blaine did a cannonball off the diving board, followed by Puck. Artie sat with his feet dangling in the water, his chair abandoned at the side.

"Hey girl!"

Quinn smiled as Mercedes walked towards her. Mercedes wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and pulled her into a hug.

"Hi, 'Cedes," murmured Quinn into the other girl's hair.

The black girl let go to take in Quinn, who was wearing a dark blue two piece bikini. She raised her eyebrows. "Damn, girl, you are looking good. You're going to put all of us to shame."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Mercedes laughed. "Say hi to mom today," she yelled over her shoulder at Quinn while walking away.

Quinn shook her head and headed towards the shallow end to where Santana was. The Latina was wearing a yellow swimsuit: bikini top and boy shorts. Santana reach down and pulled Brittany out of the pool. They stumbled back and Brittany quickly pecked her girlfriend on the lips before her eyes caught Quinn's.

"Q!" Brittany chirped, dragging Santana over to Quinn.

"Hi -" started Quinn until she was pulled into a wet embrace.

Skin was touching skin and whichever way Quinn moved, it only seemed to make it worse; Brittany never really had a personal bubble or any boundaries. Quinn tried to move her arm up and over Brittany's, but their chests moved against each other and all of a sudden -

"Brittany!" gasped Quinn. "Hello, but you really need to - _oh god_ \- Britt, let go, please."

Brittany finally let go and Quinn staggered back and was met with Santana eyeing her up and down.

"Have a problem there, Fabray?" Santana smirked.

"No," the ex-blonde snapped, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm _fine_."

Santana laughed. "Really. And that's why your face is red and you're having trouble breathing?"

"Did I hurt you or something, Quinn?" Brittany asked. "I'm sorry."

"No you didn't, B, and screw you San," snapped Quinn.

"Oh you wish," the brunette sneered.

"Hey!" the taller blonde interjected. "You're only supposed to be screwing me now."

"No, Britt, she is just trying to rile me up," Quinn assured the girl.

"Oh, ok then. If this was another time, though, I'd say that'd be hot, because you are both hot and you look really sexy in that bikini, Q."

Quinn blinked. "Uh, thanks."

"You do look hot," Santana licked her lips. "But I look hotter of course."

"Are you just going to make sexual innuendoes at me all day, Santana?"

"As much as I would love to, no. I need Brittany to go with me inside to get my mack on. See you soon, Juno," the Latina said and grabbed the blonde's hand, dragging her inside the pool house.

Quinn tore her eyes away from the girls' retreating figures once she realized that she was staring at their asses for too long. She clutched her bag and headed towards the lounging chairs to where Kurt was laying. Right as she set her bag down, she heard her ringtone go off.

**Finn: Are you at Mercedes**

"Why?" Quinn whispered to no one. Kurt took his sunglasses off to look at Quinn.

"What?" he asked.

Quinn shook her head. "Oh, nothing. Just - Finn texted me out of the blue."

She texted back a quick _yes_ and not a minute later her phone rang again.

**Finn: Cuz rach and i r almost there can u plz tlk to rachel she thinks ur mad at her and that she did somethin wrong.**

_Shit_. Quinn stuffed her phone back in the bag and flopped down on the lounge chair with a huff. _I am really not ready to talk to her._

"Seriously, Quinn," Kurt began as he sat up and crossed his legs. "You have this frustration vibe all around you right now. What's going on?"

"I don't know what you mean, Kurt."

"Quinn."

She didn't respond for a few minutes, and instead watched Sam and Puck try some weird water-karate-aerobics. She closed her eyes trying to remain in her own world until Rachel appeared in it, _again_.  Lately, it's been hard to differentiate the two: can Quinn even have her own world now _without_ Rachel in it?

"Kurt?"

"Hmmm?"

"Have you ever - did you ever - when you were younger, did you ever go to church?"

"Yes," he responded slowly. "Once. When my mom died."

Quinn smacked herself on the forehead. "I am so sorry, Kurt. Never mind."

"It's ok," he shrugged. "That was a long time ago." He paused again. "Why?"

 "How did you feel - when you were there?"

"It - well," the boy fiddled with his sunglasses. "It was suffocating."

The girl gulped and nodded. "Never mind, this was stupid."

"No," he prodded. "What?"

Quinn sat up as well, staring straight ahead and refusing to look at Kurt. "I've just... I've been envisioning things in my head that I _really_ don't want to be. And I'm feeling..."

She trailed off as she noticed Finn and Rachel walking through the gate and into the backyard. Finn was wearing a white tank top and swimming trunks whereas Rachel...

Quinn tried to peel her eyes away from the girl. She really did. The brunette's hair was flowing with natural wavy curls. She was wearing a _tiny_ black bikini which really showed too much skin. _Oh dear God_.

Rachel had one hand in Finn's hand, the other waving to Kurt who waved jovially back. Her eyes shifted to Quinn and her smile fell. Rachel rocked up on her toes to whisper something to Finn and they let go of their hands. The singer headed straight towards Quinn.

Quinn's hands snapped to the sides of the chair and she tried to look anywhere but at the girl walking towards her.

"Hi Quinn," Rachel said timidly.

Quinn nodded, still staring off to the left. "Hey, Rach. How have you been?"

The brunette cocked her head. "Well, you would know if you had bothered to talk to me these past few days. What-" Rachel took a deep breath. "- What did I do wrong?"

Quinn started fidgeting with the lounge chair, just to give her something to distract herself with. She could even look up a little bit without being met with Rachel her abs which are just _right there._ Quinn shook her head, sighing.

"You didn't do anything wrong, ok? Just forget about it."

Kurt took this moment to jump out of the chair and run to Blaine, probably to get away from this conversation.

"No, Quinn," Rachel snarled, stomping her foot. Quinn jumped up at that. "This hot and cold thing that has been going on with you - _for the past three years I might add_ \- it has _got_ to end. I'm - I care about you, Quinn and I want to be there for you. I just - you have got to let me in and stop shutting down. If you don't have a reason for ignoring me, then just _stop it_."

 _Damn_. Quinn finally lifted her head, eyes roaming past the bottom of the bathing suit - which was way too low - past that girl's taut stomach and up past her breasts and to Rachel's eyes and Quinn felt her body heat up.

"Can you please cover yourself up?" Quinn asked softly, her breath hitching.

Rachel's eyes widened and Quinn didn't like whatever flickered in them, as if Rachel had just realized something.

"I can try, I just - Finn has my towel," Rachel explained, but she laid her arms across her stomach. "So what's going on Quinn?"

"I'm -" Quinn began, her hand coming up to rub the back of her neck. Her whole body felt warm. "I just need to get some things out of my head. I kind of took it out on you. I'm sorry. We're friends, Rach, ok? We're friends."

The word _friends_ sounded bitter to Quinn and she snapped her mouth shut and bit down on her tongue. Rachel nodded and stepped back.

"I want this senior year to be perfect with us, so - _ahhh_!" Rachel squealed as Puck pounced on his fellow Jew, wrapping an arm around her waist, picking her up off the ground and twirling her around. Puck nodded towards the ex-cheerleader.

"Hi, Q."

"What's up, Puck?"

"Nothing, just a little bit busy with my Jewish Princess," he grunted before tossing Rachel in the pool and jumping in after her.

"Puckerman!" gasped Rachel once her head bobbed up to the surface of the water. "That was so irresponsible! You could have accidently dropped me on the cement or -"

Puck rolled his eyes and pushed the brunette back under water. 

Quinn's heart clenched at the sight of the two and got even tighter when Finn swam towards them to pull Rachel towards him into a kiss. She growled in annoyance and pulled her phone back out and shot a text to someone she really did not think she would be texting.

**Quinn: Hey, why did you flirt with me?**

The girl tapped her foot, waiting for a response. When it did not come in the next few minutes, Quinn took off her sandals and walked the edge of the pool to sit down and watched everyone. Rachel grinned at her from the middle of the water and waved before turning back to Finn. Quinn smiled back, although Rachel's back was turned to her. Rachel was right - Quinn is really hot and cold.

She kicked her feet in the water until she heard the familiar jingle of her ring tone and she jumped up to read the text.

**Pat: Nice of you to finally text me ;) I thought you would like the attention. I mean, we're both rocking the radical hair and clothing so I knew you would be into me. Are you saying you weren't turned on?**

Scowling at her phone, Quinn quickly deleted the text along with the number for good. _I was_ not _turned on_.

It really didn't help that Santana chose that moment to text Quinn.

**Satan: Berry is looking hot today ;)**

**Quinn: Shut up.**

She looked up from her phone and her gaze wandered to where Sam and Mike were amicably chatting. Droplets ran down their six-packs and their muscles flexed.

Quinn probably should have felt tension or heat at the sight.

She was nervous when she didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my beta reader Natalie.  
> I am like Rachel Berry who is like Tinkerbell: I need applause to live. So... review, please? Thanks! The good and the bad.  
> Don't forget to follow me on tumblr at seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com.  
> Or if you like FF.net or livejournal better: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2838998/seekingoutfriday or http://seekingoutfri.livejournal.com/


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long! I took a very long break from fiction writing but the story is back! I should be updating fairly regularly. I'm getting back into the groove of writing but I hope you like this chapter since it introduces a favorite character of mine. Thanks for sticking with me and reviewing! Also, shout out to Nataliving, my beta reader.
> 
> Disclaimer: as always, I do not own anything.

**_July 13, 2011  
6:20 p.m._ **

"Quinn, they'll be here in ten minutes! How is the guest room coming?"

"Fine!" Quinn shouted back to her mother, fluffing the pillow on the floral bedspread and tucking in the sheets. Hallie, Quinn's older sister, her husband Joseph and son Caleb were coming to visit for the week. It was the first time since being kicked out her sophomore year that Quinn had seen Hallie. Not that they were close to begin with - a six-year age difference does that.

Quinn stood up and surveyed the room, one hand on her hip while she bit the purple-polished fingernail of the other. Everything was wrinkle-free and neatly placed, with a small wooden crib in the corner by the closet. She shut the door to the guest room, poked her head in the hall bath to make sure it was spotless, and preceded her room to do a few touch-ups.

She tossed her pajamas into the closet and proceeded to her dresser to put a brush and jewelry into the top drawer. She looked up from the drawer and stared into the mirror, her pink hair shining and growing in length. Quinn ruffled her hair. For a second she tried to remember what she looked like as a blonde and couldn't even picture it.

 _Hallie only knows me as a blonde_.   

"Are you sure you don't want to color your hair back to blonde?" Judy appeared behind Quinn, her fingers toying with her daughter's pink hair. "You can go right now to the hair studio and I'll tell Hallie and Jo that -"

"Mom," Quinn huffed, "No. Stop it." She wacked Judy's fingers from her head and crossed her arms. "I'm keeping it."

"But honey -" Judy began before she was interrupted by the doorbell. "Fine."

Judy left the room to answer the front door. Quinn turned back towards the dresser mirror and combed her hand through the pink strands to fix what Judy messed up.

"Hey, mom."

Quinn jerked her head at the voice she had not heard in almost three years. Clenching her hands, she peeked around the doorframe to see a tall woman with sandy blonde hair embracing Judy, the face buried in their mother's neck. Leaning against the hallway wall was a stocky man; he had short red hair and he wore square, black rimmed glasses. His left hand held a car seat, its canopy up and hiding the little round face Quinn has yet to see.

The woman relaxed her arms and lifted her face up from Judy's neck. Blue eyes caught hazel.

"Hi, Little Q," she said tipping her head.

Quinn smoothed the front of her purple and green plaid skirt, her hands shaking. "It's Quinn."

The corner of the woman's lip flitted up. "Hello, Quinn. You look good. Different... but good."

Quinn let out a breath. "Hey, Hallie. It's been a while."

**_7:01 p.m._ **

Dinner was a seemingly quiet affair. Quinn pushed her rice around with her fork while the three adults made small talk, topics varying from Hallie's new Meteorologist job with channel 6 to allergies they think Caleb has to -  

"Hallie tells me you are going into your final year of high school."

Quinn's chin slid off the palm it was resting on and she jolted up, setting her fork down. She found Joseph, freckles hiding behind his glasses, staring at her.

"Uh yea," Quinn replied and shifted her eyes back down to her plate.

"You ready for it?"

Quinn knew the man was trying to be nice; he was, after all, her brother-in-law. Nevertheless, she did not even _know_ this man and for her sister to come here with her _perfect_ little family was -

"Actually, Joseph, let's talk about you," Quinn directed.  Both Judy and Hallie straighten up. "I mean, you've been married to my sister for a year and a half now and I've never even _heard_ of you."

"Quinn-" Hallie begun but was interrupted by Judy.

"No," she interceded. "Quinn, please apologize to Joseph. He was just asking you a question."

"Seriously?" Quinn shrieked, jumping up. "Are we really going to ignore the fact that I haven't even heard _one word_ from Hallie in two years? _Not one word_! And you just want me to be accommodating and normal?"

Judy's nostrils flared. "Leave the table, Quinn."

Quinn rolled her eyes and pushed back her seat, refusing to look at anyone at the table before she turned away and sprinted to the other side of the house. Quinn heard footsteps chasing after her and knew that she slammed the bedroom door in someone's face.

" _Quinn_!" She heard Hallie yelling through the pounding of fists on the bedroom door. "Quinn! Open up! _C'mon_!"

Quinn launched herself onto her bed and stared at her ceiling fan spin in circles. She continued watching the blades turn as the pounding subsided. _Like a sick cycle carousel_ , Quinn thought.

She rolled over and thought about how Carol Hudson took her in as if she were one of her own... about Burt and how he _loved_ his gay, effeminate son... about how the Berrys did not seem like fathers to throw away their daughter. As the blades all blurred into one image, Quinn remembered the lines etched in her father's face as he threw her out and the emptiness in her heart when months later she hadn't heard from anyone in her family, not even her sister.   

 _Sick cycle carousel, indeed_.

**_11:18 p.m._ **

Quinn woke up to the sound of Caleb wailing in the room next to her and tossed the sheets off her.

"Geez," she muttered, using her forearm to cover her eyes. "Shut. Up."

At that moment, her stomach growled, reminding her she did not finish dinner. Quinn flung her legs out of bed and tiptoed to the kitchen. She grabbed a carton of chocolate ice cream from the freezer and plopped herself down on the counter stool.

"Is there enough for two bowls?"

Quinn jumped at Hallie's voice. Leaning against the kitchen doorway was her older sister, arms crossed and lips pursed. Quinn grabbed two bowls from the cabinet and sat back down. Hallie took the hint and sat on the stool beside her.

"We used to have midnight ice cream dates all the time," Hallie whispered.

Quinn grunted. "Yea, when I was nine."

"Well, I missed it," shrugged the older woman. "... I'd like you to apologize to Joe later. He didn't deserve what happened at dinner." The woman continued as Quinn remained silent. "Did you know he is an investigator with the police? I mean, training to be, but he will be soon. That's how we met. My roommate in college had her car broken into so I was with her when she was questioned by the campus police. Joe was doing an internship with them at the time."

Quinn took a bite of her ice cream as she felt eyes burning through the side of her head. Hallie dipped her spoon into the carton, plopped two globe of chocolate into her bowl and licked her lips.

"Did you notice you haven't held Caleb yet?"

"Nope," Quinn replied, popping her spoon from her mouth. "But do you know who the last baby I did hold was?"  

Hallie closed her eyes in realization. "Quinn -"

"No!" Quinn seethed. "Stop saying my name like that! You don't know me anymore! You don't get to look at me with that pity."

"Q- Please," Hallie said softly and reached for Quinn's hand only to feel it pull away. "I am trying here with you. Just tell me what I did to make you _hate_ me!"

"You've been gone! For two years!"

"I- I hardly visited in college anyway!"

"Not just that!" cracked Quinn's voice. She tangled her fingers in her hair and let out a scream of frustration. "No phone call - or email! _My family kicked me out_ and you couldn't even be bothered to make a phone call! I heard from _no one_ for seven months!"

"I tried -"

"And then you come back and act like nothing is wrong! I needed _someone_! I needed -"

Palms slapped the counted as Hallie leaped out of the stool. "Dad wouldn't tell me where you were!" she screamed. "When - I came home to tell you guys about Joseph and that we were getting married soon and you weren't there and - and mom cried and said what happened but I tried!

"You didn't try hard enough!"

" _He wouldn't tell me!_ " Hallie's cry caught in her throat and she clutched her neck as if to keep the sobs back. "Ok? I didn't just leave you. But I didn't have a number to call you at or - or even an address to reach you. I mean, you even deleted your Facebook!"

"What, you couldn't come find me at school? Or talk to Coach Sylvester?" Quinn accused. "I needed someone to hold my hand and tell it would be ok and that I was _loved_ and you weren't there."

"Quinn..." Hallie stepped in front of the other girl and grabbed her cheeks, staring straight into the tears-filled hazel eyes. "I'm so, _so_ sorry. I live in another state - it would have been hard to just search for you. I know I suck as a sister, ok? I know. But - I could have tried harder, I could have, but I am here now. I want to know about the baby and - and where you were living during those months... if you're back on the Cheerios... why your hair is pink..."

She smiled when she got a chuckle out of Quinn. "I _never_ wanted you to be alone, even if you were. Ok? I am so sorry."

Quinn shook her head and took Hallie's hands with her own. "Yea... ok... Ok."

"What -" Hallie bit her lip. "I came back to make it better. What can I do to just make it better?"

The younger girl paused, not really knowing if there _was_ anything her sister could do... "I wanted to piss off mom." Hallie quirked her eyebrow so Quinn continued. "The hair. It's pink because I just wanted to be different for a moment."

"Well..." Hallie twirled a strand on her finger. "I like it."

"Our ice cream is melting," Quinn sniffed. "We should probably -"

"Just let it melt."

Quinn wiped her nose and eyes and sat back down at the counter; Hallie followed suit.

"So Joseph is on the police force?" Hallie nodded. "And Caleb is how old?"

Hallie beamed. "About ten months."

"He's cute."

"He is, isn't he?" Hallie smiled at Quinn, her eyes no longer filled with tears. "Any cuties with you, Quinn? Any boy I should be worrying about?"

Rachel's face popped into Quinn's mind and Quinn shook her head, chuckling in spite of herself. "Nope."

She shifted in her seat, trying to find something to say to get rid of the thick tension. "What are your plans this trip?"

"I was -" Hallie took a deep breath. "I was hoping to spend it with you. Uh, Lima's Civic Center is premiering _Grease_ this weekend. We can go if you want."

"I'm actually into musicals," Quinn said. "I'm in a show choir."

"Really?" Hallie smirked. "I did not see that coming."

Quinn shrugged. "You've been gone."

Hallie stood up, took their bowls to the sink and ran the water. "Yea, I have."

**_July 16, 2011_ **

"Since when do you go to musical theatre?"

The two sisters skipped across the street, dolled in sundresses and shawls, to the Lima Civic Theatre where a people had formed a line outside.

"I got into it in college," Hallie replied. "Joseph's roommate, also his best man, was a theatre major."

They shuffled through the line and in fifteen minutes, they both were at the ticket booth. Hallie fished the credit card from her purse - $30 for two tickets - and paid. They weaved their way through the crowd in the lobby buzzing about this year's cast.

"What are our seats?" Quinn asked.

Hallie glanced at the tickets. "34 and 35 C. Hey, can you go grab a couple programs? I'll get out seats."

Quinn ran to the attendee at the auditorium doors and was given two programs. She had never gone to this theatre before and had no idea what kinds of people audition for the roles. It's a small town after all. She might know someone in the cast.

She flipped open the program while blindly walking towards her sister sitting at the seats. _Danny, don't know him_ , Quinn pondered, trailing her index finger down the cast list. _Sandy, Rizzo, Ken - what_. _Oh my god_. Her eyes shot back to who was playing Rizzo.

"You alright, Quinn?"

She looked up from the program and noticed that she had frozen right in front of Hallie, staring at the program. Closing the program, Quinn gave Hallie's hers and sat down in seat 35C.

"Seriously, Quinn," Hallie pressed. "What's with the wide eyed look?"

"Nothing," coughed Quinn. "Someone I know is in the cast."

"He's got you all blushing. Do you like him? Who is it?"

Quinn gripped the arms rest of her seat and frantically shook her head. "No. No. It's actually a girl. Rachel Berry. Animal sweaters and skirts - somewhat annoying. She's captain of Glee and really loud -"

"- Quinn?"

"Yes?"

Hallie's eyes shot to Quinn's knuckles turning white from the grip then back to Quinn's eyes. "You're babbling."

Quinn bit her lip and put the program under her seat and folded her hands in her lap. Hallie eyed her wearily before turning her attention to the stage where the show was about to start. The lights dimmed only to have the lights on stage light up as the chorus began singing the Rydell Alma Mater. Few minutes later, the Pink Ladies skipped on stage and Quinn's eye's followed Rachel's figure as she sat down at the lunch table on the stage.

Rachel's hair was curled into hundreds of ringlets and her lips bright red with lipstick. She held an air of confidence that was so different from the confidence she wore during Glee club - this was a confidence of sexuality and popularity.

" _Hey, hey, hey! Hey, where’s all the guys_?" Rachel projected her first line. Quinn's chest swelled with unprovoked pride.

" _Those slobs_ ," a woman Quinn did not know said, but Quinn's eyes remained on Rachel's Rizzo. " _You think they’d spend a dime on their lunch? They’re baggin’ it._ "

" _Pretty cheap."_ Rachel turned her body towards side C and Quinn noticed her eyes widen. _She must see me_ , Quinn thought before the lights turned to black to signal the next scene. Quinn gulped, knowing that she would have to eventually see Rachel make out with a Kinickie on stage. She's seen Rachel make out with too many people that aren't her - _No_ , Quinn scolded herself.

"That was Rachel?" Hallie whispered.

Quinn nodded and scooted to the edge of her seat. She spent the first half of the play at the edge, her chin resting on her fist. The acts seemed to speed by as Quinn held onto every word Rachel said, eyed every sway of the hips, and scowled (unknowingly) when Rachel shimmied against Kinickie during the high school dance scene. She noticed Hallie glancing at her every time Quinn would so much as tilt her head and she tried to ignore it.

The musical was coming to the end of Act II and what Quinn knew was Rizzo's big number, "There Are Worse Things I Could Do." The lights dimmed and a bright spotlight isolated Rachel in the makeshift bathroom. Five piano notes sounded and Rachel opened her mouth.

" _There are worse things I could do... then go with a boy or two."_  Rachel smirked straight at the audience.  _"Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy and no good."_

"She's good," Hallie commented.

"Yes," Quinn said wistfully. "She really is."

Twenty minutes later, the curtain had closed and the house lights beamed. Quinn and Hallie pushed their way into the aisle only to be swept up by the horde of people trying to rush to the lobby.

"What did you think?" Hallie asked, grabbing Quinn by the elbow to pull her out of the way of two running children.

"Thanks," huffed Quinn. "I -"

"Quinn!"

Hallie and Quinn snapped their head back towards the stage to a small brunette jumping up and down.

"Quinn!" Rachel waved. "Come here. My dads want to say hi!"

Sure enough standing next to her were the two Berrymen, both in suit and tie; Hiram was holding a bouquet of flowers. Quinn mouthed "Sorry" to Hallie and led her back toward the stage to the Rachel and the men.

Hiram grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled her into a hug to her surprise. "Hi," she squeaked. "Hello, Leroy."

"Quinn," he nodded. "Who's this?"

"Oh," Quinn spun to Hallie and pushed her towards the Berry family. "This is my sister, Hallie." 

"It's great to meet you," Rachel beamed. "Quinn didn't tell me you were in town. It's great to meet someone from her family, though."

"Hello, Rachel. You did great tonight," Hallie said, side-eyeing Quinn.

Rachel actually curtsied at Hallie before wrapping her arms around Quinn's neck in an embrace. Quinn's felt her face turning red, due to the fact it was the closest they have physically been because Rachel's cleavage was covered by so little. And the cleavage reminded Quinn of _dreams_ that lately she had been trying to forget.

"Thanks for coming," Rachel muttered in Quinn's ear.

The warmth of Rachel's body was hard to let go but Quinn pushed Rachel back. "You're welcome, Rachel," she muttered, rubbing the back of her neck in unfounded nervousness. Hallie snatched the hand rubbing the neck and brought it down Quinn's side.

"Quinn said that you two know each other from Glee," Hallie inquired. Rachel's father muttered that they'd meet Rachel at the car, leaving just the girls.

"We do," Rachel replied. "Actually, we knew each other before Glee, but we weren't friends. I don't know exactly what we were but there were pornographic pictures drawn that -"

"Rachel!" yelped Quinn.

The brunette grimaced. "Sorry! But yes, we are in Glee together."

"Well, it was a great show, Rachel you should be proud. I did promise our mother that Quinn would be back by eleven so we do have to go. But it was great meeting you."

"It was great meeting you, too. And thank you, again, Quinn. We need to get together again soon."

"Yea..." Quinn drawled. "Maybe."

The girls hugged good-bye and Quinn stole one more peek over her shoulder at the girl's retreating figure before heading outside.

"So," Hallie started as they stepped outside. "You want to tell me what that was about?"

Quinn looked across the street both ways before motioned them to cross. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ok, because I'm just saying, you said earlier this week there was no _guy_ and -"

The younger sister stopped dead in her tracks on the sidewalk and held her hand up to Hallie to shush her. "Are you _really_ trying to imply what I think you're implying?"

Hallie gaped wordlessly at Quinn before finding her words. "Quinn, it's just... you stared at her the _entire_ night. And - there was that girl - _years_ ago -"

"Stop." Quinn's nostrils flared in frustration as she crossed her arms. "This is _ridiculous_ , Hallie."

"Ok," the older sister said, backing up and raising her hands to signal giving up. "Never mind. The car's right around the corner."

They walked in silence, Quinn refusing to look at Hallie. Quinn jerked the car door open and threw herself into the passenger seat, resting her head on the glass. She remembered being in a similar situation earlier this summer with her mother.

Hallie roared the engine, only to suddenly turn it off.

"What're doing?" Quinn eyed the keys in the ignition.

"Joe's best man, the theatre major?" the older sister began, glancing at Quinn. "He's gay. And he's such a nice guy - the nicest I've ever met."

Quinn stared out the windshield and her eyes began to water. _I'm not gay_.

At Quinn's silence Hallie continued. "He's proposing to his boyfriend soon -"

"Why are you telling me this?" Quinn interrupted.

Hallie turned toward Quinn, her eyes looking at the girl with _something_ , and tucked a piece of hair behind Quinn's ear. "I don't know," Hallie replied softly. "I just thought you'd need to hear it... I'm not going anywhere, Quinn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I do like to improve my writing so constructive criticism is welcome.  
> Also, don't forget to follow me on Tumblr under seekingoutfriday. My FF name is the same but if you like Livejournal better, the name is seekingoutfri.


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